Tag Archives: racism

I’m alive! To prove it, have some links!

So I’m sort of, y’know, done? With this whole parenting-pregnancy-housebuying-blogging-daily-living thing? And my need for, and frequent inability to achieve, sleep has pretty much taken over my life? And yet, annoyingly, the world continues.

Fortunately, other writers have continued to, unlike me, write:

Both Salon and bluemilk have tackled the bruhaha around Madison Young (activist, artist, sex worker) and her Becoming MILF exhibit.

Salon:

The emotional response to her public breast-feeding conveys the Madonna/whore dichotomy better than Young could ever hope to do with her kitschy quilt and breast milkshakes. The idea that there is something inherently prurient about a porn star breast-feeding plays right into that classic either-or thinking: Her breasts are erotic in one venue, so they can’t be wholesome in another.

bluemilk (if you only read one of these articles, make it this one):

There is something else worth considering about Furry Girl’s criticisms of Young, and that is the way in which she can’t distinguish between mothers and mothering. Yes, Young’s daughter can’t give permission for being included in her mother’s artwork, neither can mine give permission for my writing. But who owns Young’s experience of motherhood? Who owns mine? Where do Young’s and my experiences of early motherhood and our desire to explore these all-consuming aspects of our lives end, and our children’s ownership of them begin? Can Young, who describes her devotion to her baby daughter so lovingly, not be trusted to know? Does being sexual as women (or even sexually objectified unintentionally) spill dangerously over into our responsibilities as mothers? Does it prevent us from good mothering?

These are particularly poignant questions for me, given the reactions to my recent public discussion of sex.

Also on the topic of breastfeeding, Scientific American reports that Breastfeeding Reduces Risk of Hard-to-Treat Breast Cancer among African-American Women:

The researchers analyzed data from the Black Women’s Health Study, which has collected health information from some 59,000 women for the past 16 years, focusing on 318 cases of ER-/PR- breast cancer and 457 cases of estrogen receptor- and progesterone receptor-positive (ER+/PR+) cancer. Palmer and her team found that black women with breast cancer who had two or more children and didn’t breastfeed them were 50 percent more likely to have the ER-/PR- form of breast cancer than those who had two children and breastfed them.

And a note on language: in hypothesizing some other potential explanations for the difference, the post declares African-descended women have “tougher immune systems to cope with endemic diseases of sub-Saharan Africa” (emphasis added). While at first glance, this might appear a benign phrasing, it seems to me another instance of the animalization of Black peoples; other, just-as-accurate ways of phrasing the same concept might include “more advanced”, “highly evolved”¹, “smarter”, etc. But these would require different cultural conceptualizations of race.²

And I feel like I owe you so much more in the way of linkage (and to be sure, there have been some amazing posts I’ve encountered in the blogosphere recently, and please feel free to leave more, your own or others, in the comments), but, well, see aforementioned done-ness.

PS No one say this doneness is a sign of immanent birth. It’s not allowed to be. We’re still weeks away from closing on the house, so if you’re going to send vibes, send stay-in-and-healthy vibes, please. One of the few things worse than dealing with another few weeks of this would be The Man using up all his vacation time babymooning — and then still have to move. With a newborn. So, just, no.³

ETA OMG PONY DOCTOR WHO!

This is only quite possibly the best thing in the history of everything. Because pony Doctor. And bad French. You’re welcome.

OK, technically we’re all equally evolved, because we’ve all been on the planet equally long, and therefore have evolved the same amount, if in very, very subtly different ways. ↩
I also have questions about the accuracy of generalizations that characterize sub-Saharan Africa as more disease-ridden, and inherently and long-term so, than other places, but am not knowledgeable enough about evolutionary epidemiology to make any challenges to this assertion. ↩
We’d survive, obviously; I’d manage somehow. I just don’t want to, ta. ↩

9 Comments | Posted on 17 August 2011 by Arwyn | Category: Body, Kyriarchy, Parenting | Tags: breastfeeding, Doctor Who, language, Links, Race, racism, sex

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For your edification and edjumacation

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiinks!¹

In case yesterday’s overextended metaphor wasn’t enough for you, check out this piece on the dog and the gecko, an amazing metaphor for privilege. If you haven’t figured out what I mean by “privilege” yet, read this.

And then there’re dogs and smurfs: why women writers and stories about women are taken less seriously (don’t worry, it’s not a metaphor — or rather, interrogates a trope we take as metaphor).

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why does she stay with that jerk?” here are twenty answers. None of them is “she’s stupid” or “she deserves it”.

Filed under further rhetorical questions, would B. Manning be treated the same if out as a trans woman? As Emily says, not bloody likely.

Of course, being trans doesn’t mean Manning is, therefore, a woman — and being nonbinary doesn’t mean one is genderfluid, either.

Elizabeth of Spilt Milk is blogging at Feministe, and I couldn’t be happier. Check out especially Feminist mothers (you, being here, don’t need to be exhorted to read women who are parents and writing about feminism, but DO check out the other recommendations at the end of her post) and In defense of children.

Further to meta discussions of feminists, read this long and wholly worthwhile piece on white privilege in feminist organizations, especially those seeking “diversity”.

Race and gender are hardly the only axes (for lack of a better term) of privilege/marginalization, as you can read about in The Mental Burden of a Lower-Class Background.

But speaking of race and gender, do yourself a favor and watch Random Black Girl. (Lyrics, and a bunch of blather, here.)

This is, though rather male-centric, more or less how my mind works regarding writing.

Finally, this post is being pre-written and scheduled, because by the time you read this, I will have seen the final Harry Potter film installment, with the awesome Amy of Anktangle. But oh, do I wish we could have seen Joanne Rowling’s Hermione Granger series instead…

For I am the zombie of the blogosphere, and posts are your brains. Tasty, intelligent brains. ↩

4 Comments | Posted on 21 July 2011 by Arwyn | Category: Kyriarchy | Tags: anti-child hate, class privilege, classism, Gender, Links, Race, racism, trans, transmisogyny

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Conference on Motherhood Activism, Advocacy, Agency: Day One

I’m in Toronto for a conference that, other than its distinctly academic bent¹, seems tailored perfectly for me. It’s been one day (of three), and I have twelve pages of notes on everything from Motherhood and Menstruation² to Mothers and Sons to Feminist Parenting as a Conscious Political act to DHS: Give us Back Our Children to Zines as an Organizing Tool in the Maternal Feminist Movement³. After each presentation⁴ I could sit down and spend hours writing and thinking and talking — but no, a round of applause and here’s the next speaker and my head is spinning and I have to lurch across the entire conference hall to obey my fetus-kicked bladder and now it’s lunch and another pair of sessions each with its set of all-too-inspirational talks and now we’re back at the hotel and the bed is calling and my brains fell out my ears somewhere in the never-have-to-set-a-foot-outside underground world of this fabulously diverse city.

I could, if I had the time and brainpower and ability to sit any longer, spin a post out of each of the talks I’ve heard today, but I don’t, so here is a scattering of thoughts inspired by the conference:

Guilt sucks. At least half of the talks mentioned the devastating effects of mother guilt — not only is it a tool of control of the kyriarchy (or “the dominant cultural discourse”) by keeping the focus on “what’s wrong with me” not “the prescription of the ‘good mother’ is wrong”, it makes us worse parents. We overcompensate out of guilt, we lose our autonomy and authenticity because of guilt, and we snap from the stress of feeling guilty. Drop the guilt.
Mothers deserve voice, recognition, research, and time on us-as-mothers, not only mothers-as-caregivers-so-it’s-really-about-the-children. Call it empowerment, or autonomy, or compassion, or feminism, or radicalism: all speak to this need for a focus on us, not only on what we can/should/shouldn’t/do do for our children.
Children are resilient (so drop the guilt!) and will become their own people despite us — and mothering and parenting is a place with huge potential for social change. As feminist mothers, mothers of sons, conscious mothers, and/or mothers “resisting the myths of motherhood”, we have the ability in our daily lives to perform activism and create change by the relationships we create with our children.
Feminist/conscious/resistant parenting (each presented as three+ distinct ideas, but with amazing commonalities) is enacted through a relationship that is not based in a traditional, power-over, parent-has-the-answers, hierarchical model, but in a conversational, egalitarian, speak-truth-to-power, process- and justice-based model. It’s only peripherally, if at all, about eschewing gendered products, and more about eschewing a patriarchal, kyriarchal, hierarchical relationship.
This one blew my mind⁵: the same conversational, autonomy, interdependent, respectful-even-if-not-agreeing relationship we bring to our relationships with our children (and parents) — “reciprocal recognition between autonomous individuals” — we can bring to our activist conversations, particularly between “waves” of feminism or activist communities. It doesn’t mean ignoring the problems of previous eras of feminisms or activisms, but being able to honor their flawed humanity while assert our own autonomy and right to respect for our ideas and ideals.
I’m not really sure what to say about conversations by Mother Warriors Voice (Milwaukee, Wisconsin) and the Ontario Native Women’s Association (Canada), but both spoke of the devastation wrecked on communities and families because of child-removal fueled by classism and racism — children being removed because the electricity is turned off, or inadequate housing, or assumptions about substance abuse. As foster/adoptive parent of color said in the film DHS: Give Us Back Our Children “If they can pay me to take care of these children, why can’t they pay their biological parents to care for them?”

My doesn’t-snore and doesn’t-kick-me-out-for-coughing roommate has her own post up about day one, with more reflections and a couple links you should check out. Also a picture. Because she’s blog savvy like that.

And now, I sleep⁶.

PS Happy Friday the 13th! I miss you, beloved.

I’m almost afraid to reveal my not-even-Bachelor’s-having status, though everyone’s happy enough to hear about my massage training, and offers to allow me to practice on them. Yeah. ↩
See?? It’s like they set the agenda with me in mind. ↩
By Ariel Gore! I refrained from fangirling all over her, but by that time, it was mostly because I was feeling too creaky from pregnancy and this obnoxious cold and sitting for hours and hours to run up and gush the way I yearned to. ↩
2-4 presenters/presentations per sessions, and four sessions just today! ↩
I drew a giant lightbulb next to it, after picking my jaw back up off the floor and scribbling a quick summary I’d been too busy being blown away to write at the time. ↩
OK, so I’m scheduling this to be posted tomorrow morning, so by the time you read this, I will have a full 8 hours of sleep, clear sinuses, calm leg muscles, and will be leisurely breaking my fast with definitely-not-Starbucks. …right? Let’s just say right. ↩

11 Comments | Posted on 13 May 2011 by Arwyn | Category: Kyriarchy, Parenting | Tags: classism, Gender, parenting, racism

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12th International Transgender Day of Remembrance

For the past 12 years, November 20th has marked TDOR, the International Transgender Day of Remembrance. As a cisgender person, I am not the one you should be listening to on this day. But as a cis person, it is my obligation and my honor to recognize this day and help hold the space for trans persons the world over. Please read each of these posts, as you are able to and as is safe for you to do so.

About TDOR:

The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgender — that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant — each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people.

Number dead because of anti-transgender sentiment:

This means that, this year, there are almost 180 trans people to be included in the list of names to be remembered, mourned and honoured at the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance tomorrow (20th November).

“The TDOR 2010 update has revealed a total of 179 cases of reported killings of trans people from November 20th 2009 to November 19h 2010. The update shows reports of murdered or killed trans people in 19 countries in the last year, with the majority from Brazil (91), Guatemala (15), Mexico (14), and the USA (14)”.

Why a day of remembrance matters:

As someone who was around and part of the local and national trans leadership when the TDOR started in 1999, as time inexorably marches on I have seen eleven previous TDOR’s come and go. I have that intimate understanding of why we have them and militantly resist the calls from some transpeople to change the focus from a memorial ceremony to a happy-happy joy-joy event because it’s in their words ‘morbid and depressing’
[...]
70% of the transpeople we memorialize are people of color. I don’t want people forgetting that salient point either as we read this year’s list of names. Until anti-trans violence is reduced to nothing and the people who perpetrate it get properly punished for doing so, there will continue to be a need for the ‘morbid and depressing’ TDOR.

A plea to cis folk:

Around the world today, there are many vigils and memorials taking place – if there is one near you, and you can make it, please go along. Spare a few moments to remember those we have lost, to pay your respects – and to remind yourself and cis society at large that trans people are somebody’s children, somebody’s parents, somebody’s friends, somebody’s neighbours, somebody’s partners, somebody’s lovers.

More than anything else, today and every day, please remember that trans people too are part of the human race – and we’re as entitled to life as any other member of humanity.

Most of the dead are women. Most of them are nonwhite. This is not a coincidence; it is a vital reminder that we continue to allow some persons to be more valued than others because of their gender, the color of their skin, and whether their true gender matches that assigned to them at birth.

Every one of the people murdered because of anti-transgender bigotry matters. Each one of them deserves to be remembered and honored — even if we don’t know their names. Too, we are called to bring to mind the ones whose lives and deaths were so held as meaningless to their society that their murders were not reported and did not make this year’s list of the dead.

Today, I remember and memorialize the dead. Tomorrow, I will do what I can to make there not be need for a list next year, and I ask you to join me. If it seems too large a task for you, do something small. But do something. Because this must not continue.

2 Comments | Posted on 20 November 2010 by Arwyn | Category: Body, Kyriarchy | Tags: cis privilege, Gender, Privilege, Race, racism, trans, violence against women

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On speaking race, take two

I think I got half the problem right in A Tale of Two Slayers, but I ended up asking the wrong question. Rather than “how does Clueless White Girl guess others’ race” (which, though not quite what I meant, ended up being what I asked), the question should be “how does Clueless White Girl speak race and name whiteness without guessing or approximating or unwanted labeling, so that her child grows up measurably less clueless?”

Because while the fact that I really cannot tell what makes someone ethnically Japanese or Korean or Hmong by sight¹ is a symptom of my white privilege, the racist society I live in, and the very-nearly-monochromatic circles I’ve always traveled in — so too is the need to define, and label, and categorize others, rather than listening for another’s identity to be communicated as (and if) they choose, and to accept ambiguity and ignorance in the meanwhile.

It would be easy to say that I simply need a more diverse group of friends, because then we wouldn’t be guessing, we’d know (or not, as they wished). And while that’s true, there’s also something godawful skeevy in the suggestion that I make friends to, essentially, act as Model Minorities for my child.

It would be easy also to say that I need to expose my child to more cultures, so it’s not just about skin color speculation, and that is also true. But I worry about the conflation of race and culture, when they’re not necessarily the same at all² — because all too often that too is about pigeonholing people, making assumptions about “where they’re from”³, and more, risks making Culture something Those (Brown) People Over There have. How many white middle-Americans say they have no culture?⁴ Or how often do we make culture about something that happened Long Ago and Far Away — not something that is here, now, living and evolving and real? None of which is to say learning about diverse cultures isn’t important — I just don’t think it’s the full answer.

It would be really easy to give up, to metaphorically toss my hands in the air and declare that there’s no winning, and it’s too hard, and why should I even bother if there’s no Right Way. Because that is what my entire kyriarchal culture is telling me to do — and I gotta say sometimes my perfectionist-crazy agrees, because this is hard, and the outcome is so important, and I have no idea what I’m doing, and at least if I fucked up my kid with race-ignorance (instead of race-speaking fumblings) I’d be in abundant company. But I owe him better than that.

I have no more answers than I did a couple days ago. But I think I’m closer to asking the right questions.

How do you, or might you, speak race (with your child and with yourself) without potentially-offensive speculation? How do you make distinctions and connections between race, nationality, culture, and skin color? If you are parenting a white child, how do you make sure they know race and culture are not something only other people have? How do you talk about race when you don’t have the words?

—————

And that I’m reaching to name more than a few east Asian ethnic groups, and couldn’t tell you the name of any indigenous/native Japanese people(s?), though I know they exist. ↩
My high school contemporary comes to mind, who was first generation USian, ethnically Chinese, and a native Spanish speaker by way of generations of ancestors living in South America. ↩
To paraphrase Margaret Cho, who has her problems but also some profound (and profane) wisdom: “How do I say cunt in ‘my language’? CUNT!” ↩
Well, probably not as many any more, now that some have taken to saying “their culture” is being attacked by uppity foreign-born liberals. ↩