language « Raising My Boychick

The unbearable lightness of being three

It was so much easier when he was younger. So much easier when I could give of myself with a breast, through my motherhood made liquid for only him. It was so much easier when I could meet his needs for comfort, for inclusion, for belonging, for stimulation by tossing him on my back, and [...]

Things I learned in class this week

* Knitting as a method of self-soothing and to avoid the temptation to slap one’s classmates and/or teacher sort of backfires when one finds oneself contemplating the garotte potential of circular knitting needles. Ahem.

* You know what one of the risk factors for atherosclerosis1 is? Burning proteins and lipids for energy. You know one of [...]

Talking Bodies

I have no desire or intention to police others’ bodies. We can talk about the social pressures that lead to high rates of cosmetic surgery, dieting, body hatred — but to confuse a need for systemic critique with a right to criticize individuals is one of the worst uses of feminism.

But.

And.

So.

How we talk about our [...]

How to lose my business in one easy step (today’s lesson thanks to Vistaprint); also, breastfeeding on business cards? You betcha!

How to lose my business in one easy step (today’s lesson thanks to Vistaprint)

It’s ridiculously easy, really. All you have to do is have a required drop down menu on your sign up form, with no opt out or Other or fill-in-the-blank option, with these three and only these three options:

Mr.
Mrs.
Miss

(bonus douchebaggery points for making [...]

Sex Ed Is Every Day

Sex ed is not something we do once. It’s not something we talk about “when they’re old enough“. It’s really not something to leave exclusively to schools, or chance, or experiential learning.

Sex ed is every day.

Sex ed is teaching children, of any age, that their bodies are their own; it is making sure they know [...]

Quick Hit on Hair: Not-White Is Not Other

Black folk and hair — and more so, white folk and Black folk’s hair — is a touchy (ha. ha.) damn subject. Because of the white supremacist culture I live in1, I barely have any vocabulary for talking about Black hair, especially in its natural state. What vocabulary I do have that is appropriate and [...]

Tiwonge and Steven are not a “gay couple” — but are they a “straight couple”?

First, the good news: Tiwonge and Steven have been pardoned! (Warning on link for misgendering.) Although psychological violence continues to be done to Tiwonge via misgendering, and their life is likely to continue to be hard, I am glad that these two are being spared, and I wish them well.

Now to my topic, which is [...]

Reply-turned-post: Metaphors of violence

Annie of PhD in Parenting is, in a role reversal, spending the summer as a SAHM while her family is in Berlin, Germany. Her daughter, almost the same age as the Boychick, is being very much a three year old in a new environment in an unfamiliar situation. Annie writes about it in Age three: [...]

A study in endurance and ableism

November 24

I am sitting in a chair, a sturdy folding table before me. My hands are clenched; my eyes are fixed on them but do not really see. I feel every systole and diastole of my heart, and it feels like it is trying to move five gallons of blood this hour, not just five [...]

“I am a feedback… investment banker?” On language, kyriarchy, and problematic metaphors

I was replying to a question from the inimitable Kelly Diels on “Why do you blog?“, and wrote the following (feel free to read the whole thing — it amuses me — but the part relevant to the rest of this post is at the end, highlighted in bold):

I started blogging because I kept thinking [...]

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