identity « Raising My Boychick

On identity and “who [I] bone”

Sexual identity? Does not actually come from “who you fuck”. See, this is one of those misconceptions which lead to all sorts of misunderstandings, from backing up the assertion that “everyone is bi” (because so many people have had sexual contact with more than one gender) to dismissing sexual identities altogether.

Like in this oh so [...]

WFPP Guest Post: Before I was a Mother, I was a Woman . . .

The Womanist/Feminist Parenting Primer is back, with a piece from Zoey of Good Goog about what it means to her to be a woman and a mother.

Zoey discusses her journey from career-driven no-kids-no-thank-you woman to mostly at-home mother, and the things she has given up, as well as gained, along the way. She touches on [...]

Happy Celebrate Bisexuality Day!

Many thanks to Lucy for pointing it out to me. It’s like an unexpected late birthday present!

Apparently, September 23 has been the date for Celebrate Bisexuality Day since 1999. I have to admit I blubbed a little when I heard about it: while I do think events like Pride Day ought to include me and [...]

Presumably straight, presumably male even… but definitely white

I first wrote this four months ago; I’m not really sure why I didn’t publish it then. I looked at it again recently, thinking it was much more draft-y and much less coherent than it turned out to be, discovered it wasn’t that bad, dusted it off, and here it is.

First, let me say that [...]

The blogger revealed

I know there haven’t been any photos of me on here, nor do I have so much as a profile picture (even though there have been pictures of the Boychick galore, and even of The Man). But it’s not some conspiracy, not a deliberate choice for some misplaced reason of delusions of modesty or anonymity/pseudonymity [...]

More on checklists

Reply-turned-post style. I think I’m giving it its own post half because I may have done a better job explaining myself in the reply (mixed metaphors and bad Titanic reference withstanding) than in the original post, and half because I feel weird having a comment that’s longer than many of my posts. Plus, [...]

Of pink shirts and mary janes

Scene one: It is morning, ninety minutes into our attempts to clothe the child and get ready for the day. We have achieved pants, and just managed to slip a grey shirt over his acquiescing but still squirmy head. And so, of course, he changes his mind, insists he needs to change his shirt. [...]

Big fish, small fish, small pond, big ocean: a Seussian experience of feminism

Sometimes I feel like two people: in “real” life, and in some of the online places I frequent, I am about the most radical feminist I know, and one of the few who has even heard the words “intersectionality” or “white privilege” or “cisgender” (much less cissexism). I find myself needing to dispel feminist myths, [...]

Passing for straight: parenting with a man as a queer identified woman

I will say this for passing: it gives one a lot more opportunities for coming out.

I just came out to a new friend from massage school. You’d think the act –a short sentence, one second, two words: “I’m bisexual” — would get easier over time, and with practice. But to the contrary, I find it [...]

Why “presumably-straight”?

My friend Lisa asked in a comment on another post:
Why do you say your son is “presumably straight”?

It’s a good question, one I realized I haven’t explicitly answered anywhere yet. In thinking about it, it seems to come down to three things:

He probably is (going to be) straight. Even with a queer-identified mother [...]

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