Tag Archives: comment begging

Pregnancy Massage I, take 2: in which I beg for woo and e-support

If things’ve seemed quiet around here, it’s for a good reason: things have been very not-quiet in my life. Nothing much more than usual: started the term with a two-massages-a-week class, lost preschool for the child¹, met a stranger and asked her to put her hand in my cunt², and, today, started the three-day intensive for Pregnancy Massage I. Again.

It’s been six months since my back went kablooey³, and I’ve spent hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars working on getting better, getting well, getting strong, and I don’t know if it’s enough. I don’t know if I can do this course, and I don’t know if I can have the career I’ve spent the last two-plus years working toward if I can’t finish it.

There’s a lot I’m doing differently this time⁴, and I’m not in the same place I was then, but I am terrified. And I’m doing all the woo acceptance I can, acknowledging the fear and letting it go⁵, staying in just this moment, grounding myself and feeling and loving my body as it is — but the fear is still there.

So this is me accessing all the resources at my disposal, and asking my community for support.

Tell me it will be alright. Tell me I will get through the weekend. Tell me I’ll still be a massage therapist even if I don’t. Tell me I’ll still be worthwhile human being even if I don’t get my license. Don’t tell me things will happen as they ought, but that I have the ability to make things work out whatever happens. Whip out as much woo and as many cyber hugs as you got, and lay it all on me.

And soon⁶, I’ll get back to my usual, less needy, more pedantic, kyriarchy-kicking ways.

Whether or not my spine stays whole.

*******

The whole school is on hiatus for the health of the owner, and yes that is about as fun for everyone involved as you might imagine, not least her. ↩
Which I will write about soon, under the title “Adventures in Holistic Pelvic Care, Or, Yes You May Put Your Hand Up My Splink”. ↩
That’s a technical term. ↩
I’m not spending any time on the table, I’m not trying to force myself to sit on the floor with everyone else, I’m taking an extended lunch break tomorrow for a please-stop-my-back-from-breaking chiropractic tune-up, and I’m accepting all the help I can get with setting up the tables and moving equipment around my own body mechanics. And I still don’t know if it will be enough. ↩
I keep inviting the fear to leave, but it’s hanging around like a house guest with poor boundaries and worse hygiene, eating my food, monopolizing the remote, and generally making a mess of the place. Somewhere inside me there’s a zen master drinking tea calmly, but the rest of us are running around with bleach and brooms — cleaning up after it, or trying to chase it out, depending, and we kind of hate the lazy tea-drinker. ↩
For a certain value of “soon” approximately equaling “find an acceptable replacement for the practically perfect playschool which is now closed”. ↩

20 Comments | Posted on 15 October 2010 by Arwyn | Category: Body | Tags: comment begging, Health, massage, school, woo woo

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Hello period!

Thank you for waiting until I was off the plane to NYC to start. You even waited until I was in the hotel room and had access to all our supplies, for which I particularly thank you.

Now I’d like to introduce you to my new best friend, the sponge. The sponge will be our close companion this time around, as without it, we would not have enough cloth pads to last the whole weekend!

But don’t worry period, I’ll be getting (making?) you new pads soon, so we won’t have to be concerned about running out ever again. Just two overnight pads for a whole cycle? What was I thinking?

Yours (for the next 5-6 days),

Arwyn, in NYC for BlogHer ’10

*****

Reader participation: write a letter to your period (or lack thereof) in the comments. Funny, facetious, scathing, sarcastic? Say hi! Tell it to fuck off! Whatever the blood moves you to write.

19 Comments | Posted on 5 August 2010 by Arwyn | Category: Body | Tags: comment begging, feminists don't laugh, Menstruation

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Three things: the BADD, the Gentle, and the New

One: The first of May is Blog Against Disablism Day, and although I really meant to participate again this year, I’m operating on about four hours’ sleep, and instead of blogging about ableism/disablism, I’m thinking I might actually take care of my own disabilities and go to bed (sort of) on time. Shocking, I know. But go read the other excellent BADD posts.

Two: The week-long Carnival of Gentle Discipline is over, and it’s been fabulous. But the fun isn’t yet over: no ma’am, because from now through next Friday (7 May 2010), you can vote over at Baby Dust Diaries for your favorite original Carnival post. The winner gets a $25 gift certificate to Wild Mother Arts at Etsy. Do read all the entries, and vote for your favorite — and I promise I won’t be even slightly disappointed if that’s not me, because the competition is quite outstanding, and I’m proud to have been among them all.

And three: Elizabeth of the oft-dormant Elizabeth’s Little Blog introduced me to Kelly Hogaboom, who also writes Underbellie, and I think — after less than an hour cruising around both sites (and there will be much more time spent there than that when I’ve had more than four hours’ sleep) — that I’m in love. Just… yeah. Read tollhouse helps (which reminded me strongly of We knocked on the neighbour’s door, only, y’know, better), and then read childbirth is natural / childbirth is danger danger!! or perhaps: if you’re a woman you suck, and you will know why.

Your turn: tell me three things from your own life of late. Good, bad, indifferent, ambivalent, whatever. Links optional. Consider this That Spot, you know, the one on your counter/table/banister/cat furniture where you drop all the stuff you’re sure is important but you don’t quite know where to put yet. We’ll help you sort through it. Or just ooo and ahh. Or commiserate. Whatever’s called for.

27 Comments | Posted on 30 April 2010 by Arwyn | Category: Body | Tags: ableism, Carnival of Gentle Discipline, comment begging, Links, Mental Health, sleep

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I need a name

No, not that kind of name (I did promise I’d never fake y’all out on a pregnancy again, after all). The name I need is for the anti-kyriarchy/pro-diversity kids’ books review series I’m (finally, after thinking about it for aaaaages) starting.

I’ve asked around on Twitter and Facebook, but for those of you following me neither place (whyever not?), here are some of the ideas so far:

An Unbiased Review
Books Against Bias, or Books Without Bias
Words Without
Raising Refined Readers
Get ‘Em While They’re Young
Equal Reads
Raising Radical Readers, or Raising Readers Radically
RMB Reviews
Wonderful Words, or Wonderful Words Without Bias.
Actually Good Books
Books for Unbiased Babes (or Babies — except it’s more for toddler+, if only ‘cuz that’s where the Boychick is).
Boychick’s Books Against Bias, Boychick’s Unbiased Books, Boychick’s Anti-Bias Books
Read the Change

It’s been pointed out that most of the names are about what the books are not, and it might be better to have more positive description, of what the books under review are, or at least are trying to be.

Another point: pro-diversity books tend to come in two types: 1) “Not everyone lives/looks/is the same as you.” and 2) “You are not alone.” White privileged liberals (like myself) tend to focus on the first type; and while those are indeed valuable, they are also quite othering, assuming (ironically enough, given their supposed messages of anti-marginalization) that their audience is a child of privilege, usually white, abled, with two parents, middle class, etc. The reviews will include that type of book, but not exclusively, and (to the best of my ability) acknowledging that narrow focus. The name, therefore, should reflect this; titles like “Books to Open Minds” speak only to the first category of book, and aren’t really what I’m looking for.

The review will cover both books with explicit anti-bias messages and those which feature non-white straight cis middle class characters. It will focus on American books geared (for the moment) toward toddlers/preschoolers, because that reflects the books we read to the Boychick, but I hope it will be relevant to my readers outside of North America and with varying ages of children.

So, what are your suggestions on the name? Thoughts? Ideas? And while we’re at it, have any books you’d like me to review?

Also: please remember that I’m still accepting submissions for two guest series: the Womanist/Feminist Parenting Primer, and the anonymous series Naked Pictures of Faceless People. Ideas for other guest posts are also always welcome. Share your stories!

20 Comments | Posted on 23 April 2010 by Arwyn | Category: Life, the Universe, and Everything | Tags: comment begging, Meta

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Menstrual Monday

It’s that time again, and lacking any thinky thoughts or filking inspirations, I’m using this post to ask you¹ about what you use for your period, whether traditional disposable products, something you made yourself, or purchased reusable products, or…?

Specifically, because I had a massage tonight², have any of you used a menstrual sponge? With my prolapse issues, neither cups nor tampons are an option for me, but it’d be nice to have something for the rare occasion like tonight, when going pad-free would make life easier.

Also, I’m on the hunt for both a wet bag and a “moon pot”³; consider this an invitation either for recommendations to your favorite makers, or self-serving spam if you think you make/sell Just The Thing I’m looking for. Bonus for being moon or menses themed, or otherwise exceptionally cool, neat, weird, or pretty.

‘Til next month!

The set of “you”, my readership, who menstruate, now or when not pregnant or lactating, which is not the same set of “you”, my readership, who are women, which is not the same set of “you”, the totality of my readership. Just to be… clear? ↩
Yes, you can get a massage while menstruating; you always have the option to keep your underwear — or anything else that would make you feel comfortable — on, or wear an internal menstrual device. And if everything else fails and you bleed on the sheets? I promise, it’s not the end of the world. Massage therapists can get oil out of sheets — we can get menstrual fluid out, too. ↩
Lidded pot for soaking cloth pads in after use, before washing. ↩