bipolar « Raising My Boychick

Lull

How to describe depression? How to explain the negative energy when all one’s energy — and then some — has vanished? How to explain the pain and fear of having no words, when one’s words, the only tool one has, are gone?

I went to BlogHer, I came back, and I forgot to take downtime. I [...]

Vocally crazy: on privilege and the risks and benefits of being out

I am vocally, explicitly out about being bipolar (especially, but not only, online). I also reclaim the word “crazy” — because although my “mental illness” looks almost nothing like what is portrayed in popular media as “crazy”, I have the same diagnosis as some of those wackadoo characters. Or some of my friends do. Or [...]

No words no sleep no sanity, take eleventy billion

Someone asked me the other day how I remembered to update the blog regularly. My mouth flapped open, and stuck that way, as my brain tried to understand a question for which it had no frame of reference.

She was not a writer. Or rather, not the kind of writer I am — writer by requirement. [...]

Things I learned in class this week

* Knitting as a method of self-soothing and to avoid the temptation to slap one’s classmates and/or teacher sort of backfires when one finds oneself contemplating the garotte potential of circular knitting needles. Ahem.

* You know what one of the risk factors for atherosclerosis1 is? Burning proteins and lipids for energy. You know one of [...]

A good grumpy day

I was really grumpy today.

The Man is in his fourth week of mandatory overtime, and I’m very very tired of him being very very tired and us having no time together, but that wasn’t why I was grumpy.

The kid has entered the most aggravating contrarian phase, where he automatically disagrees with whatever we say, even [...]

The case of the disappearing spoons: disability, Twitter, activism, and spoon management

I blocked someone today on Twitter.1 I think I’ve done this maybe half a dozen times to non-spam accounts in the more than year since I’ve been on Twitter, and (almost?) all of those have been run-of-the-mill trolls and douchebags. This one was wasn’t. She was someone who was, I think, misinterpreting what I was [...]

NPFP Guest Post: Pink Frosting

Welcome to RMB’s Naked Pictures of Faceless People, a series of guest posts from diverse anonymous bloggers. (Read more about NPFP’s origins.) These are the posts that are jumping to get out of us, but for whatever reason — safety, embarrassment, conflict of interest, protection of loved ones’ reputations or feelings, or so on [...]

I quit the world today

It’s been one of those days.

One of those days when something goes wrong, and suddenly everything else goes wrong too — because children pick up on moods, because the ability to cope has been drained and then some, because half-broken beds can stand up to daily use but not fuck-I’m-having-a-shit-day attacks.

The most proximal reason for [...]

Intermission

Life is: growing plans ever bigger, scrambling to keep up commitments already extant, deadlines long since missed and still looming ahead, inspiration abounding, dubious coping skills on the sly, perspective shifts vertiginous and plentiful, and never enough time when everything wants done now.

***

Life is: a hand clutching a hand, a ring digging into flesh and [...]

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