I’m pro-choice because I can’t but see a difference between a blastocyst and a baby.
I’m pro-choice because the personhood of a embryo/fetus is irrelevant: no person has the right to impose themselves on another’s body.
I’m pro-choice because without the right and ability to say no, we lack the ability to say yes.
I’m pro-choice because every child should have the right to be a chosen child, whether or not their conception was intended.
I’m pro-choice because parenthood is way too damned hard for anyone to be forced into it.
I’m pro-choice because people with uteruses are, y’know, people, and capable of making their own decisions.
I’m pro-choice because there’s no way to ban abortion without upping the death rate of women.
I’m pro-choice because intended or not (and I’d argue it mostly is), the outcomes of abortion bans are misogynist and reify patriarchy.
I’m pro-choice because my opinion on anyone else’s choice is irrelevant — and your opinion is irrelevant to mine.
I’m pro-choice because it’s about so much more than abortion: not just whether but when and where and with whom to birth.
I’m pro-choice because it’s about so much more than pregnancy: whether and when and how to transition, whether and when and with whom to have sex.
I’m pro-choice because birth is far safer than we think it is — and abortion, when legal, is even safer still.
I’m pro-choice because a forced “choice” — whether to birth or to abort — isn’t a choice at all.
I’m pro-choice because I refuse to tell you what to do with your body, and I wish the same right extended to me.
I’m pro-choice because in a pro-choice society, one can be against abortion for themselves, but in an anti-abortion society, one is disallowed choice at all.
I’m pro-choice because people have the right to choose their family size, from no children to more than I’d want to have.
I’m pro-choice because adoption isn’t a universal answer, it’s a highly complex and often fraught choice.
I’m pro-choice because fertility treatments should be a choice universally covered, not an option only for the class privileged.
I’m pro-choice because banning abortion doesn’t help recognize the personhood of children, it removes the personhood of people with uteruses.
I’m pro-choice because 61% of people who have abortions have children, and I trust parents to decide what is best for their families and the children who already exist.
I’m pro-choice because I’ve struggled to conceive, I’ve lost pregnancies both wanted and not, and now am pregnant again, for what I hope is the last time.
I’m pro-choice because if I hadn’t had the choice to say YES every day when pregnant with the Boychick, I would never survive parenting today.
It’s true that “pro-choice” doesn’t always mean the above, and I’m as happy to call inconsistency on those who use “pro-choice” but really mean “anti banning abortion” (because they don’t speak out in favor of or care about the right to choose not just whether but when and where and with whom to birth, or transgender rights and transition choice and access, or the needs of the whole adoption triad) as on those who say “pro-life” when they mean “anti abortion” (because they don’t speak out against or care about war or poverty or guns or children’s rights or the environment or the abysmal state of health care).
But pro-choice means all of that to me. It means I recognize that real choice can’t exist where a mother has to abort because she can’t afford to feed another child, no matter how much she wants to. It means I recognize that real choice can’t exist where bullying tactics like forced ultrasounds and wait periods are codified into law against those seeking abortion. It means I recognize that my culture values some people more than others, some fetuses more than others, and that our kyriarchal system reproduces its kyriarchal values through who it deems worthy to be a parent and which fetuses it deems worthy to live. It means I recognize that the pro-choice movement has a highly problematic history and a highly important modern mission. It means I recognize that the pro-choice movement has a long way to go still, and not just because we’re losing some of the ground we had gained.
That is what being pro-choice means to me, and why it is not just a tick in a list of positions but a central part of my beliefs and, yes, my self. It doesn’t mean I can’t be friends or friendly with those who disagree, nor will I declare them my enemy or disavow any points of commonality, but neither is it something I can or will gloss over or set aside as not important.
Because I am pro-choice.
I will not host abortion debate on this post, including negative or antagonistic comments against people who hold anti-choice/pro-life positions. I will moderate this comment thread very heavily; if you wish your post to stay, use “I” statements and avoid attacks. If your post is still not approved or is removed, please do not take it personally, but you may email me to discuss it politely if you wish.
Thank you.
I have struggled to explain to people why I am pro-choice. You have managed to find the words I wanted to use but couldn’t locate.
I’m often asked why as a mother I am pro-choice. This is a good representation of why I feel the way the do. You are right, the movement has a way to go but I am confident that the people involved in it aren’t going to stop pushing forward.
Yes to all of the above. I would add that I am pro-choice because who knows what would happen to the availability of Assisted Reproductive Technology if embryos are granted any more rights/personhood.
This is such a great post. You’ve really clarified all the many factors that go in to the idea of being pro-choice, and I love that you included trans rights, too. So often overlooked, but so valuable to understand as a major factor of bodily autonomy.
I couldn’t agree more; you are right on. ‘Nuff said.
Yes.
and thanks also for the link to the article on abortion and bodily domain (and omg i’m totally sending a friend request to the author on gaiaonline… i hope she plays zomg)
When I conceived Bubbadoo, I was a disabled teenager. I had recovered from anorexia nervosa only recently enough to have one menstrual bleed, and I was still psychotic. Many people in my life told me to terminate the pregnancy. One relative in-law wrote up an entire 3 page list of loaded questions, including “How will you feel when the child is taken away by CPS?”, and “What if the child grows up to inherit your mental health problems?”. She made it pretty clear that not only was it a bad time to be making babies, it was terribly irresponsible for two young, “disabled” people to be doing it at all. The family (his, not mine) pushed for termination, and threatened never to speak to him again.
But Bubbadoo was a very much loved and wanted and (admittedly not very well) planned for baby.
I am pro-choice because I believe that women are capable of making informed choices, but worry for those who are being coerced *either* way.
Thanks for this post. My recent “choice” was very difficult and I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with anyone, including my husband. Right now this is the only place I can feel that that part of my life is visible.
I love, love, love this post. You’ve said what I feel so eloquently!
I’m pro-choice because I’ve experienced an unplanned pregnancy turning into a wanted child because I had a choice.
Thank you for writing this it explains exactly how I feel though using much better words and links!! Love your links!
Yes, this!
I wish I had a response with more content, but you’ve pretty much said it all.
Sunflower
“I’m pro-choice because without the right and ability to say no, we lack the ability to say yes.”
This is a big one for me, when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant just as I was finishing college and heading out to the “real world” of a life-long dead-end “career”, my ability to freely choose whether I wanted to become a mother or not meant that I could freely and happily and wholeheartedly choose to grow and birth a child. Otherwise both my child and I would have led a miserable and abusive life because the child wasn’t wanted but I would have been forced to become a mother against my will. The choice to say NO means we also have the choice to say YES!
Thank you for write this. Here is why I enjoy this post: I can sit with each point and really think. I sat down last night and wrote stream of consciousness to each point. So much compassion arose from within me about all “sides” of this topic. I gained a lot of understanding that surpasses labeling on positions or judgment about sides.
I began reading this as a Pro-Choice supporter. Now, I am a supporter of choice for everyone with a deeper compassion for everyone.
Yes, yes, YES. To all of it. Once again, you have written something wonderful and put to words what many of us feel. Thank you.
I love this so much. Everything you said is how I feel!
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I can’t stand those “it’s a child, not a choice” stickers, because my child IS my choice. My life has been a period of not wanting a child, followed by a period of wanting one child, followed by a period of not wanting any more children. Laws and availability of health care options aren’t going to change that, it will only change how simple or how miserable my path in life becomes.
I often find it difficult to discuss this issue with people because what I believe personally seems contradictory to my believing abortion should be legal and accessible.
I truly believe that no matter what the circumstances I could never choose to have an abortion. I want kids too much to ever make that choice even if I were to get pregnant under less than ideal circumstances. Even using birth control pills (which typically allow eggs to be fertilized but not implant) is a uncomfortable choice for me, though still a choice I’m making at least until I can talk to my gyno about alternatives.
I also believe abortion should never be necessary or the only option or even ever be the best option. In an ideal world it wouldn’t be, but shit happens, and forcing children into situations where they are unwanted is not supporting life (theirs or their parents).
While I’m personally uncomfortable with it, I believe it is incredibly important for abortions to be legal and accessible. Not only that, but women (and men) need access to accurate information about both abortion and alternatives to abortion, because it’s not actually a choice if you’re not informed enough to decide what is best for you.
I believe just as important as allowing for choices in the event a women becomes pregnant, is providing accurate information about, access to, and choices regarding birth control. I believe limiting access to and information about birth control (especially to young people), and then limiting or criminalizing abortion is very dangerous. I think if people want to see fewer abortions, the key is to make more choices accessible for preventing pregnancy in the first place, and to provide love and support no matter what she chooses in the event that a woman still ends up pregnant when she isn’t planning for it.
I am personally pro-life, but I believe in pro-choice. A lot of people don’t understand that position. I struggle sometimes too with being this way when thinking about faith versus real life (i.e. rape, incest) and this moral middle ground works for me. Though I would never likely encourage anyone I know personally to go down the path toward an abortion, I can still support her right to make her own decision.
Before I was pregnant, I was staunchly pro-life.
Now I lean towards pro-choice, primarily because in not giving myself that choice, I realized I was giving few options to other women.
That was wonderfully and succintly put.
You may be interested in a blogswarm
held in New Zealand recently on this issue. There are some amazing posts on many aspects of the abortion debate.
Oh, and I am pro-choice because I do not see how there is any other principled position one can take.
Brilliant! In addition to all of the above, I’m pro-choice because there are so many children that never get adopted. Forcing someone to carry a baby to term means that child might be put up for adoption and never actually be adopted, maybe never having a stable home. Why force that life on a child?
I was thinking about writing a blog post along these lines and you kind of beat me to it. I’m pro-choice for the reasons you’ve listed here. More recently, I’ve realized that I’m also pro-choice because historically, WOC (like I am) have been denied the rights to our own bodies, and in some instances chosen to end pregnancies as acts of resistance and, dare I say, love. I say love because I imagine that some of these women might have preferred to end a pregnancy than birth a child into a brutal system like slavery.
I cried. That’s just exactly it, thank you!
This: “… people with uteruses are, y’know, people, and capable of making their own decisions.”
Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. I believe you’re right, and that being pro-choice extends far beyond access to abortion. This is a very succinct statement of why.
YES x 100000000. Thank you thank you thank you. My second pregnancy was an oops, my IUD failed & came at a time we were very poor (instead of just poor like usual). I was also still dealing with the trauma of my first child’s birth 18 months before. I was broken and scared and felt like I had no choice but to abort. I wasn’t ready, going through that again wasn’t possible. I hope someday it IS. Choice comes in many shapes and forms and every person has the right to decide what’s best for themselves and their families.
My mother was the first person to ever bring ideas like this to me. From her starting point, I have been able to specify my beliefs on the issue in a way I feel is precise and complete. You have taken many of the words out of my mouth in this article, and I am very proud to know that there are many women out there with a decent argument for their beliefs.
I was recently informed that my mother terminated a pregnancy before she had me (her oldest child). My mother truly chose for me to come into the world, and my life has been wonderful.
I had an IUD put in a few months ago, and being a 21 year old woman, this means that the point of “accidental pregnancies” has come and gone, and I will be able to make a decision when to have a child (if at all) in the most real sense. It scares me, because a part of me wonders if I will ever be ready, or if there will always be something in my way. I wonder how different my life would be if the possibility of children was always at my heels, instead of in the background like it is currently. Whatever my decision, I am happy to know that I have the ability to choose, and I would never deny another person that right. I was chosen, and I think that bringing a child into the world that is loved, wanted, anticipated, and properly prepared for is the only way I would want to do things.
I liked this post. Although people may believe differently on the topic it is always important to understand where someone else comes from before choosing a path. I appreciate your ability to see the other side of things and still hold true to yourself. A lot of people could take direction from you in the debate of not just this topic but many others. :)
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