Parenting techniques that are utterly, pointlessly ineffective:
- Yelling at your child not to yell.
- Threatening your child for unsocial behavior.
- Demanding that your child stop making demands upon you.
- Disconnecting from your child seeking connection (manifested, for example, as pleas for attention: “Look at me! Watch me! Did you see that?”)
- Getting stressed at your child for not going with the flow.
- Insisting that your child not insist everything be done exactly their way, because you want them done your way instead.
- Swearing at your child to fucking stop swearing.
- Screaming at your child because they won’t stop screaming.
- Throwing your child’s toy because they won’t stop throwing it.
- Commanding your child to relax.
- Ordering your child to speak gently.
- Grabbing an object from your child to teach them that grabbing objects from others is wrong.
- Lecturing that your child cannot control another’s actions while controlling their actions (by, for example, requiring they get buckled in their car seat right now).
How do I know these parenting techniques are completely ineffective, other than that, when written like this, it becomes obvious how unbelievably foolish they are? Because I have done each and every one in the past week. Many times. And they never, ever work.
So why do I keep doing them?
(…don’t answer that.)