I have started a rejection collection

I have started a rejection collection.

Here’s how it works: I pour my heart in a manila envelope, or attach it to a pixelated plea for publication, and send it off, overstamped, unsolicited. In two to ten weeks, in exchange, I get one more reason for celebration: rejection.

That will never happen, you say. Think positive, you say. They’re sure to love you, you say.

Why you rejectin’ my collection before I get started? I say.

I have to make rejection not break me, my self not hate me. To send out my soul, my mind, my meaning encapsulated, captured by words on these pages, the result must be something to celebrate, used to paint my walls like awards, because now there is blankness, an empty canvas, a hallow hollow too holy for error.

You’ve a gift from god, you say.

Fuck divinity, I say, I want the human experience, the beauty not of blankness could’ve-been-greatness but the tangible paper in my hand saying girl, you tried.

They might tell lies, tell me I’m worthless, my life’s work less than shit paper, too scratchy and wordy for wiping their asses — but those notes are my papers proving my legitimacy, my residency here in the land of the free to fuck up and fail. I want citizen status in these discarded states, and today I trade in my passport for an application to stay.

I hope I get rejected.

*******

The composition of this post if not its subject (though really that too) can be blamed on Kelly Diels, and in particular the playlist at the end of Sunday School for Sentences #4. Because I am a chameleon and a copycat, but I’m ok with that. I considered recording it and uploading to YouTube, but allowed the lack of clothing, light, and soundproof barrier betwixt me and my sleeping child to stop me; you may thank me or curse me as you please.

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9 Responses to I have started a rejection collection

  1. Great post. Smart plan.

  2. I REALLY value rejection. I send a lot of pitches out, and often don’t get replies, so having the consideration to actually reply engenders a lot of goodwill from me, making it likelier that I will continue to read them and pitch them again.

    Have you thought about pitching a guest-blog series to Bitch? I think you would be great there.

  3. I’m going to copy you. It is time, my love, for us to get our words, writing, wisdom into print and profitability.

    Rejection is my nemesis, but this is what I’ve been thinking: I only need one to say yes.

  4. The rejection sucks. And the odds are high that you will be rejected. Not because you’re not awesome, but because there are so many people vying for the position.

    I honestly dispose of the rejections as soon as they arrive. I may not be as evolved as you, or have as much need to make it a celebration. Either way, I hide them and do my best to forget.

  5. I once sold yellow pages ad space (uh huh) and it was rejection all day, everyday. And though they were saying no to some dumbass yellow pages book, it was still hard on my person. It’s why sales people are a different kind of person (ever know one really well?? They’re… different) and why actors who made it big after 25 years have a hardened shell about them.

    Anyway, all this to say that rejection is flavor and either we get accustomed to it and tweak it to our personal tastes or we stop tasting it all together by doing something different to avoid it; so drink it up, girl. You got this.

  6. oooh, I got goosebumps. You go, that paper rejection will be so cool. :-)

  7. I may join you in this. Time to start putting it out there. After all, I’ve heard no enough in my life – I should be used to it by now. Of course, if I hear a yes, I may just faint.

  8. Pingback: The making of a writer: first, destroy perfection « Raising My Boychick

  9. Pingback: Thoughts on Radical Acceptance | Raising My Boychick

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