Comments on: The case of the disappearing spoons: disability, Twitter, activism, and spoon management

By: A good grumpy day « Raising My Boychick

A good grumpy day « Raising My Boychick — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 22:35:03 +0000

[...] The case of the disappearing spoons: disability, Twitter, activism, and spoon management [...]

By: Rosemary Cottage

Rosemary Cottage — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 05:43:48 +0000

@keepingmumsane

If employers understood spoons and lack of them, wouldn’t paid work be so much easier? *sigh*

Imagine being able to be honest about why you needed the time off work. I’ve rung in with a fake cold before now, I felt like I was skiving but really I just couldn’t muster up enough spoons to get in.

By: Rosemary Cottage

Rosemary Cottage — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 20:56:50 +0000

Simply put (well, I’ll try to put it simply anyway) on a personal level, when I am in a depressive phase I feel spoon theory is pretty accurate describing how I have a finite (and often small) amount of energy throughout each day. However, when I am in an non-depressive (for want of a better word – I am trying to avoid “normal”!!!) phase, I get a full compliment of spoons, and other cutlery. So I almost feel like – how to put it – I would be borrowing spoon theory, then putting it back, then using it again…

Another thing is, even at my most depressed, if I absolutely have to do something and I’m “out of spoons”, I can force myself to do it. It means the next day I’m pretty done in like, but still, I am “able bodied”, at least, currently, and, urgh, I dunno.

By: keepingmumsane @ what I don't say

keepingmumsane @ what I don't say — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 20:08:29 +0000

Can I jump in here. My ‘disability’ is major depression. I put disability in inverted commas as it’s still something I’m having trouble admitting as a disability, but it is. It’s very disabling. It has caused a lot of trouble in particular with study and I’ve been advised by various counsellors that I should be registering as a disabled student. It’s probably also something I should be telling my employer about too but I’ve been frightened to due to stigma. Ironic considering I work in disabilities. But our consumers have intellectual disabilities. I guess especially at the moment it would be beneificial for work to know seen as though I’m needing time off for psychiatric and counselling appointments but I’m frightened. As someone with depression I particularly relate to this spoons theory. I’m really struggling with any extra spoons at the moment and it would be particularly beneficial for my work to realise this. Sigh

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 18:28:32 +0000

Rosemary Cottage — Can you explain why it is you feel it’s appropriative for you? I hear a lot of people with mental health issues say that, and I am always curious.

For me, I know resisting identifying as disabled had to do with my crazy brain trying to keep me away from community and support, and combined with internalized ableism to say that mental illness wasn’t “real” (or at least, not a “real disability”).

Is it something like that for you, or something else? Because I’ve always clearly heard from the PWD community that people with depression, etc, have full right to spoon theory to the extent they feel it describes their experience.

By: Rosemary Cottage

Rosemary Cottage — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 14:53:13 +0000

I personally feel I am appropriating Spoon Theory when I use spoons to describe my inability to do things and severe energy deficit as a result of depression. But some don’t. As you say, it’s down to the individual really.

Anyway, I blocked people a lot when I was on twitter. And eventually, lack of energy and ability to cope made me leave twitter entirely, (and facebook, and most of the blogosphere in fact). Sometimes it’s a time to engage, and sometimes it’s time to look after yourself. Self care is very important!

By: Alina

Alina — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 04:31:53 +0000

Interesting! Once in a while, when I’m at work and having conflict with someone, I will delete an email they wrote without actually reading it. I am not disabled so I wouldn’t use the word “spoon” but I have learned that sometimes it’s better to just walk away from a conflict — at least for me!! Meanwhile I continue to work on conflict management with people who get under my skin. I view my lack-of-proficiency in that area as a challenge that I’m working to improve.

Anyway I think you did the right thing to Block the person. Why borrow trouble??? The nice thing about Blocking is that you can always change your mind later and un-Block (if you want to!)

By: Kelly

Kelly — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:46:44 +0000

Not all people with disabilities agree; we’re not automatons. Some might say spoon theory is for everyone; some don’t; some can’t be arsed to have an opinion. If you do not identify as someone with disabilities, of whatever kind, then I would encourage you to take the more cautious approach, and err on the side of respect rather than appropriation.

Very good points, and I hope any readers who have the knee-jerk reaction I did (and maybe Sheri did) read your piece and the comments before speaking up. Thank you for your clarifications and for your work.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 00:45:04 +0000

This makes sense. Unfortunately “spoons” have been tossed around a lot I don’t think I understood the full impetus before today (altho’ I knew a bit about the origin story). Not that I do now, but I have a lot greater understanding. So, thanks for that.

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 23:44:41 +0000

Speaking of spoon management, I’m done defending spoon theory as only for use by PWDs. You don’t have to agree with me or with that boundary, but I don’t want to make this thread one I’m avoiding because I start to dread dealing with it anymore. Please, if you disagree, or want to know more, do some reading by disabled bloggers, and then do some more, and then a bit more. It’s already been hashed out and defended and explained again and again, and I really don’t care enough nor have the energy to do it again here and now.