Comments on: No, less-than-threes do not need their moms 24/7/365

By: Links, Links, Lovely Links! « The Earthling's Handbook

Links, Links, Lovely Links! « The Earthling's Handbook — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 16:49:04 +0000

[...] No, children under 3 years old do not need their mothers to be with them every minute of every day! [...]

By: Tussilago

Tussilago — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 22:32:39 +0000

(If it’s not too late to comment…?)
This made me realize that I and my husband need to think about how to avoid being the only people who know and can care for the baby we want to have (hasn’t happened yet). Our parents and siblings all live in other towns, and our friends who have children live in other parts of town. Also, neither of us is spontaneously very social even without a baby, we usually have to remind ourselves to keep in touch with people even if it’s just meeting friends we really like over coffee…
Of course, we’re privileged since we live in Sweden. I always think it’s strange how the way you care for your children in the USA is talked about as mostly a personal choice made by the mother, and no matter what “choice” she makes there’s something wrong with it – when you don’t have all that much to choose between in the first place! Hello – public affordable daycare? Paid maternity leave that can be used in a flexible way, months at a stretch or just some days of the week? Not to mention paid paternity leave? No? Then why the pressure on mothers to make a near-perfect “choice” with such limited alternatives?
It seems to me that there are two things wrong here: that caring for children is assumed to be women’s work, and that it isn’t valued by society. People who only go against the first end up arguing that since women are important too, mothers should spend more time working professionally and less with their children, therefore no attachment parenting. People who only go against the second end up arguing that since childcare is important, women should spend more time with their children, therefore no equality in the workplace. We really have to question both – childcare is important, AND fathers (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, friends) should be doing it too, AND society should support it!

By: Top 10 of 2010 « Raising My Boychick

Top 10 of 2010 « Raising My Boychick — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 07:58:59 +0000

[...] No, less-than-threes do not need their moms 24/7/365 [...]

By: On My Mind

On My Mind — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 23:13:11 +0000

[...] egads, take a shower! But, fear not! Because to counter this nonsense, we have these responses at Raising My Boychick and Blue Milk. I need not say [...]

By: Priyanka

Priyanka — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:03:50 +0000

Wow…I am from India and the stigma attached to a working mother is too much here.
This post was so liberating. A big thanks for writing this :)

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 22:18:49 +0000

I wish there was someone for my kids to turn to other than me. It keeps me up at night, when I should be recharging.

By: My parenting style did not make my motherhood a prison; my society did « Raising My Boychick

Mon, 08 Nov 2010 08:56:42 +0000

[...] No, less-than-threes do not need their moms 24/7/365 [...]

By: Cathy

Cathy — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 04:33:48 +0000

I’m just finding your blog- I’m a poly, bisexual, fat woman with a family of five that intends to raise children together. I just want to say how much I appreciate that your voice is out there talking about these issues and recognizing that there are people out there who don’t really want to take the mainstream party line on parenting. It drives me nuts to see people praising the nuclear family in one breath and accusing women of not being able to keep up with working and having children in another- give me a break, the nuclear family is practically a brand-new concept, not the tradition it’s made out to be. Bah.

Anyway, thanks for being there for me to read and to remind me that there are other mothers like me. (Or, like I will be- whichever.)

By: rlr

rlr — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 19:18:19 +0000

About the idea of having more than two adults in a household or nearby to help with children…it is unfortunate that extended families are such a rare thing. If you look at the disparaging attitudes that people have about anyone over a certain age that lives with their parent(s), I think that is a huge part of the problem.

By: Erin

Erin — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:38:12 +0000

Great post.

I am blessed with a large extended family. I work full-time, because it makes me happy. My son spends his days with his grammy, his daddy, his papa, his aunt, cousins his uncle, until Mommy gets home. He is the happiest, most well-adjusted baby I have ever encountered.

I agree with you completely; extended families and closer relationships with a LARGE support system are the key to happy children. Not chained-up mommies too guilt-ridden to take a bubble bath.