How to lose my business in one easy step (today’s lesson thanks to Vistaprint)
It’s ridiculously easy, really. All you have to do is have a required drop down menu on your sign up form, with no opt out or Other or fill-in-the-blank option, with these three and only these three options:
- Mr.
- Mrs.
- Miss
(bonus douchebaggery points for making Mr. the default)
Congratulations! You’ve just lost my business. Way to go, Vistaprint!
This isn’t a Mrs-or-Ms fight, because I have no desire to police what other women choose for themselves, but about respect for the diversity of being. And the lack of said respect.
I haven’t been a Miss since I turned 18. I will never be a Mrs. And a tiny part of me still dreams of one day being a Dr, like my mother before me (though not an MD, sorry mom). I am, therefore, completely left out of those options. And I am only one relatively uncomplicated woman.
Think of all the other people left out of those options: People with nonbinary genders. Doctors, of all stripes. Clergy-people. Those from cultures who don’t do salutations, or don’t do those salutations. And probably many, many more that I am not thinking of at the moment.
And it’s not hard to do it right, either. (It’s as simple as anything to do it better; just have more options.) At the urging of many, I went to MOO, designed my business cards there, and then went to save them, just like I did at Vistaprint. And guess what? They didn’t even ask for a salutation! Email, yes. Name, yup. Password, of course. Salutation? Nope! No drop down menu = no problem. MOO can have my business, even if it’s going to cost me way more money than I was planning on.
I’ve seen drop down menus that worked pretty well, too, with dozens of options (I believe they included military titles, among others). Or, you could have a simple fill-in-the-blank. Even just an option to opt-out of having any title, even if you don’ t offer mine, will still, grudgingly, earn you my business.
But Mr./Mrs./Miss? My monies — and my recommendation — go elsewhere.
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Breastfeeding on business cards? You betcha!
And why order business cards at all?, I hear my inquisitive readers wonder. Why, to hand out (or, probably, mostly not hand out because I’m huddled in a corner trying to not panic) at BlogHer, of course. And what will be on these cards? The usual: my blog name, tag line, name, email, etc.
Oh, and this:
Because I freaking love this photo
Why? Mostly, as the caption says, because I freaking love this photo. I don’t love a lot of pictures of myself, but this one I very much do. And it’s one of the few pictures I have that I like, and are high quality, and show my face, and would work as a business card (that is, do not have my messy house as a backdrop).
Also because it’s the picture I use on here (the face), on Twitter (the breast and the kid’s head), and on Facebook (the whole thing).
But also because it is — not in spite of it being — a breastfeeding picture. A toddler breastfeeding picture, over which I get harassed on Twitter regularly (about every couple months, on average).
The Boychick is weaned. And while I feel ambivalent about that, one thing I miss being able to do is nurse in public. Not because I got my kicks out of it (far from it), or like pissing people off (I’m actually rather anti-confrontational), but because I view it as a public service. Every time we nurse in public, unapologetically, we normalize breastfeeding; we support women who may just be starting out or who aren’t certain about continuing; we make it easier for the next woman who comes through.
While I can’t do that directly anymore, I can still do it pictorially thanks to digital photography and ‘net avatars. And business cards.
And if that offends someone? Well, they probably didn’t want my card anyway.
…Which will be ordered through a company that doesn’t make me pick between three titles, none of which represent me.
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This week is the first-ever Carnival of Nursing in Public, and I encourage you to read and support the participating blogs. We’re also in the last few days of voting for the BlogLuxe Awards: I’m nominated in Most Provocative, Most Inspiring, AND Blog You’ve Learned The Most From. Go drop me a vote or three. You can vote once a day through July 12th. Thank you as always for your support!
Titles frustrate me. While I’m happy with Ms, I’d rather be untitled, but get pissed when there’s no Ms… give me no title or write-in
YEAH! That’s one of the many reasons I don’t use vistaprint.
The photo, well that’s awesome. Sometimes when my (nearly) 3 year old asks me for milk I start to get my boob out, then remember that she drinks from a cup & the baby is the only one drinking from my breast now. She weaned before I got pregnant (so over a year ago) and I still sometimes forget that fact.
I really appreciated the comment about how us nursing moms breastfeeding in public is a service to other moms. I loved it and it helps me even further to be more confident in my nursing in public!!! I have 2 girls; both have quit nursing (one at 11 months the younger at 17 months). I have become more, shall we say, proud, with each child and breastfeeding them! I no longer hide (or didn’t) when breastfeeding at relatives’ houses or things like that. I’ve become more lax about the cover as well…as many moms have said, the baby’s head takes up most of the breast and you shirt covers the other part. Not to mention, they don’t like being covered…especially during summer or the warmer months!!! I just found out I’m pregnant again. This time around, I plan on breastfeeding in public…I can be discreet, but not to my baby’s discomfort! My baby will come first! They shouldn’t have to be hidden to eat! If that was the case, then all people everywhere should hide when they eat (and for some people, that might not be a bad thing)!
Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how much the bottom article touched me! Thank you for writing that!!!
Crikey, what century is this again? I mean, I’m a fucking knight of the realm and won’t do business with any company where “Sir” isn’t a salutation ;-) (but, seriously, there wasn’t even a Ms? Crikey.)
As for breastfeeding pictures, well, as you know, the “public service” element is pretty much the main reason I don’t make my flickr pics private despite the fact I get some awful messages off really pervy blokes pretty much every other week that I have to block.
Sir Rosemary Cottage — Oh I have missed you!
Love! I abhor choosing titles. And getting wedding invitations addressed to Mrs. or Miss. Grr. Though I’m willing to be generous there and not decide whether to go or not based on that. ;)
But, um, seriously, having just those three options? Makes my head hurt.
Love your cards, love what you stand for — what you have stood for before you started breastfeeding, and what you stand for now still after weaning. It is a public service, and thank you for putting up with the jerks on Twitter about it.
Actually, I was thinking of referring to your picture when I was describing nursing in public with the breast pulled out the top and a hand covering some of the skin (for my own comfort), because that’s how I do it all.the.time, with nary a picture of it happening here to be found.
Lauren — you’re welcome to use my picture for that purpose. :)
I have my hand there for two reasons, though, neither of which have to do with covering skin: 1) I have breasts that point down, and I used my hand to lift my breast for positioning, and 2) it helped me cope with the occasional discomfort of comfort nursing (by giving me another sensation, one which I controlled, to focus on).
And thank you!
I can’t believe people harass you for a breastfeeding picture. What I really mean to say is, I do believe it, and I’m sorry!
Vistaprint’s response via Twitter: “Our apologies. This is an issue on our site that we are actively looking into changing.” Well, Vistaprint, when you catch up to the 21st century, I might stop actively looking into your competitors. Too late for this time, though.
Glad your business cards worked out for you. I’ll be watching for you at BlogHer. Hopefully you got a ticket to Sparklecorn. It should be a blast.
I find it exceedingly obnoxious that so many people get their kicks on dumping on breastfeeding mothers.
Oh I wish you could write in your own title. Mine would be “Her Holy Fuck of Awesomeness”.
Thanks for the heads-up on this and since vistaprint responded to our tweets, maybe they’ll actually change things. Nice teaspooning!
I suppose I am a Mrs. I am married, and after much waffling and with incredible ambivalence I took my husband’s name. But even for me, those choices are restrictive. If I must choose, I opt for Ms. If I don’t have to choose, I prefer nothing. And I fit in those boxes. So boo, hiss Vistaprint.
And way to go on the photo!
Short and to the point here- I love you.
I love that photo of you too! And I totally get your annoyance about the Miss and Mrs thing. I’m married and I don’t like to be called Mrs. either. Maybe it is because I didn’t take my husband’s name, but it is nice to have an option, and I think a lot of women feel that way.
If the man takes the woman’s name, does that make him the Mrs? (I’m joking, of course)
Can I have a card when you get one? You know me, Don’t need to leave this on BLOG, just let me know.
First of all…I absoultely your breat feeding picture! Second…I get the whole Mr/Mrs thing. Things like that piss me off all of the time. When I fill out my kids school emergency cards, the “mothers” name comes first. I guess we are only MORE important when it comes to caring for the children. Go figure!
Howdy, I know what you mean about nursing in public as a public service. I definitely began to feel that way as I nursed my 2nd child and realized how often women are simply nervouse/afraid to do it.
On the dropdown- the CSS financial aid profile for college did the same thing. Not only do they have drop downs, but those drop downs are how they determine your legal sex without telling you. I was looking for where to put that, assumed that either it didn’t care or it would go by your SSN (your SSN has a gender marker attached even if the card doesn’t) or something, because I figured Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/whatever have no legal basis (it doesn’t in the UK- dunno about US), so I mark what I’m least uncomfortable with. I’m still aggravated about that. If it does have a legal basis- it shouldn’t.