We bought a car today. And that’s not the awesome thing.
(Though it is fucking awesome: WE BOUGHT A CAR1. After driving our former sedan into the ground — had her for 10 years and 200,000 miles, yo, and only just starting to show her age — we finally have a car with five functioning seatbelts, that can take both the Boychick and our German Shepherd, yet isn’t a giant road hog. I’m still in happy, happy shock.)
No, the awesome thing came because of the un-awesomeness of the “sales manager”2, who was giving us a run-around, treating me like he thought I was an airhead, trying to bully us, then lying to us not once but twice.
I did not take his bullshit.
I — calmly, firmly — demanded his cooperation.
I challenged his lies, and he went off in a huff.
And then, while talking with the sales guys (who were smarmy sales guys, but not douchebags), who listened to our complaints about his treatment of us, and of me in particular (to be fair, I was being the vocal one), and told us we wouldn’t have to talk with him at all anymore, and they would make sure we saw what he was trying to hide from us3 — Douchebag Manager came back.
The ensuing conversation went something like this:
BROTHER-IN-LAW (the family’s mechanic)
I work in a dealership, I know these reports are written up and filed. I write them up for a living. It shouldn’t be a big deal to let us see it.
SMARMY BUT NOT DOUCHEY SALES GUY
Of course, of course, and we can get it for you, it’s not a problem, we’re on your side4.
DOUCHEBAG MANAGER
(DOUCHEBAG MANAGER walks over and interrupts, trying to join conversation.)
We’re a great dealership, we inspect all our cars, I already told you we replace everything that needs to be replaced, we wouldn’t sell you anything we don’t trust –
FEMINIST PROTAGONIST
(Turns to face DOUCHEBAG MANAGER head-on, putting herself between DOUCHEBAG MANAGER and the others. Looks DOUCHEBAG MANAGER straight in the eye.)
Please leave.
DOUCHEBAG MANAGER
…What?
FEMINIST PROTAGONIST
We’re having a good conversation here. Please leave.
DOUCHEBAG MANAGER
[OK, I don't actually remember what he said at this point. It might have been nothing. All I remember is the snorts of badly-suppressed laughter from The Man and my sister (sitting nearby keeping our two three-year-olds occupied), who witnessed the entire scene and swore later they would never forget the moment of utter awesomeness when his face screwed up in shock as he realized what I was saying.]
EXEUNT DOUCHEBAG.
And then we bought a car.
I? Kick fucking ass.
- 2006 Subaru Forester with 42,000 miles on it that even my super-cynical mechanic brother-in-law says was an amazing deal. It is exactly the car we wanted for several thousand dollars less than such usually goes for, and thus, unexpectedly, within our reach. WOOHOO! ↩
- As Ben the sales guy said, he’s a manager, but not a the-level manager. ↩
- For no good reason. It was just a fucking report. It was fine. ↩
- I think between the two sales dudes talking to us tonight, I heard “I’m On Your Side{TM}” at least 50 times. I eventually started laughing every time I heard it. I thought about taking a vodka shot when I got home for every time I heard it, but then decided that death by alcohol poisoning was probably imprudent when we’d just acquired a major monthly car payment. Also, I don’t drink. ↩
Score!
One thing that keeps us driving our 1997 Ford Escort is the fear of dealing with smarmy and/or douchebag dealers. I will take your example to shore up my confidence.
Most dealerships now just use the “sales manager” as a tactic to stop you from negotiating price or terms. They let the salesmen (was gonna say person, but then I realized I’ve never seen a woman actually working the lot at any of the dealerships around here) show the cars and everything, then push everything to the manager when you try to negotiate, like a “good cop, bad cop” type of thing. I have fun with salespeople if they try to get all high pressure, because I’ve worked in sales and read/studied a lot of psychology relating to sales because it’s pretty interesting, and fun to twist around when the salesperson is trying to be slick. Good for you for not letting them jerk you around like that.
One of the two cars that we now own was purchased from a sales woman and I do have to say that it was much more pleasant than the salesmen I’ve dealt with for other car purchases.
Annie and Raine — Our last car we bought from a woman at a Saturn dealership, back when they did the no-haggle pricing thing. Loved. It. I think I went in to this experience gearing for a rumble partly as a come-down from that experience.
Whooooot! I just laughed out loud in delight. Huzzah for the empowered female protagonist!!
Yah, Hooray, and Congratulations! And good for you. I think that’s even better than my used-car-salesmen stories from when I bought my now-defunct Sable. I walked away from that experience in a state of wonder that so many people could actually behave so true to stereotype.
Auntie — Oh, I remember those stories, and kept thinking about them when going in for this. And I was mostly pleasantly surprised (well, in comparison!), and was ready to squash the douchebaggery I did encounter. So thank you.
(Similarly, I remember my mom’s story of shopping for a cell phone when they first came out. She went to one store where even after she said that she was a doctor and needed it for work, the guy went on about how it could store “99 phone numbers for your friends!” She bought it somewhere else.)
Yes, yes you do.
(kick ass, that is!)
I may need a new car soon and have been stressing about the idea of car payments (my current car is a free hand-me-down) but I hadn’t given a thought to dealing with sales people and their inherent douche-y-ness…. ARG! If/when those salestrips happen I’ll remember your example and assert my own feminist protagonist :)
Go, you!
And enjoy that car. It is like a symbol of your bad-assery, I think.
You rock!
And made me laugh. :)
Loved it! You’re the ish! And I love that you dubbed yourself, “Feminist Protagonist” excellent!
Good for you, and yay!
I get taken for the gullible female a lot in automotive contexts…places that DON’T try that crap get my loyalty.
But my favorite douchebag sales manager example was one who tried to convince me that I should want to buy a car for its given price and not negotiate down because it had LEATHER SEATS. This after I’d commented that I hate leather seats, both for ethical reasons and because of how they feel. This instead of negotiating down or actually, you know, letting me know if they had a car that was similar but without the leather.
I am sure they sold the car to someone for their asking price or close to it, but they didn’t sell anything to me.
Yeah for you! Congrats on the car, but congrats especially on standing your ground and setting your boundaries! You are the furthest from an airhead I can imagine (but concrete-head just doesn’t sound right). It was great to take bil mechanic with you, but you already had what you needed most: your own powerful sense of self. Yee-haw!
Mazal tov! Great story. I too have a 2006 Forester which I got for a great price. I’m a rabbi and the father of a community member is a car dealer and sent me to his car dealer friend. It was so nice to not have to deal with douchebaggery. I picked a Subaru because I wanted a car with a high safety rating in which to drive around my now 3 1/2 yr old child.
Love the blog. Thanks for writing it. As a father and someone who works with queer and/or homeless youth on the streets of Chicago, as well as a human being, I find it fun, useful and important.
shalom v’ahava,
Menachem
Menachem — Thank you, and welcome! I have to say the safety rating — though nice — wasn’t as high a priority for me as finding the best combination of big enough for my dog and small enough for my comfort and ecological conscience. We haven’t been able to take my poor dog anywhere since the Boychick was born, basically. But now we can!
You totally kick ass!! I was laughing out loud reading your post and had to tell a friend who was visiting what you did. We just bought a new car too but I let my hubby do all the work. He said they were really nice so I’m glad I didn’t have to step in! Although I guess it would have been too late to take lessons from you anyway.
That is the best! I’m having that “Man I wish I had been there to see that example of absolute AWESOME!” feeling. :)
I’m terrified of car dealer assholes. I had my very financially savvy boyfriend help me buy my first car 10 years ago. The dealers didn’t try to screw him over. The last car I bought, though, was through CarMax from a black woman named (Cleopatra Brown – no joke) and she was amazing. They also have a no-haggle philosophy and Cleo treated me like the main participant that I was. I’ll probably always buy from them just because of her.
I’m late to the party because I am pathetically behind on all my blog reading but I just wanted to say:
You are made of awesome. *bows and chants “I’m not worthy” in some cheesy Wayne’s World kind of way*