Comments on: NPFP Guest Post: Five Years Later

By: mz

mz — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 01:17:04 +0000

Peace for you. Today and everyday. Peace and love and hope.

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 05:05:40 +0000

I hurt for you.

And I agree with Slee. It’s sucky that our society sets up so many barriers between family and career for women. Your choice was yours to make, and I’m glad you were able to make it. But I also wish that we did a much better job of supporting families so that more options were open to everyone.

By: Shana

Shana — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 05:02:57 +0000

I wish I could tell you it gets easier with time. After 11 years and 11 non-birthdays I’m afraid I cannot. I was fortunate in that my partner and immediate family were completely supportive. The ob-gyn clinic I went to afterwards to deal with my failed birth control was not. I too felt judged and blamed for being “careless”. Although some amount of guilt has plagued me ever since (Hypermesis during my later pregnancy – punishment for my selfishness. Miscarriage – punishment for my selfishness) I can also say that I do not regret my decision one bit. A mother’s job is to protect her child, and provide a life worth living. No child should grow up with a mother that resents him for his mere existence.

By: Slee

Slee — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 04:23:58 +0000

Am I the only one sitting here angry? I’m infuriated. I am mad.
How can we claim to be civilized when women have to choose between the lives of their unborn children and a carreer? How can we keep creating these impossible dichotomies and say that we, as a society, value women and children.
My heart goes out to you. You never should have had to make that choice and I am embarassed that we live in a world in which many women are pressured to give up a child or a carreer. How many men face similar choices?

By: JohannaMM

JohannaMM — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 03:08:11 +0000

Like many others, I feel for you and want to extend my sincerest sympathy for having to go through that, and especially for doing so without the support of your partner. Soon after Roe v Wade, I had an IUD failure. I seriously considered abortion, and am very, vary glad that safe and legal abortion was available to me. Instead, I found a way to continue my studies half-time for two years and I had my child. I do not believe one decision is superior to another: it is a heart-wrenching place to be in. I believe firmly that being able to choose is very important, but that does not make it easy. Even miscarrying left me wondering about the child-who-would-have-been; it must be even harder after an abortion. Big hugs to you.

By: MistsOfSpring

MistsOfSpring — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 02:42:40 +0000

I hurt for you. I’m sorry you had such a hard decision to make and I’m sorry that your husband and the people at the clinic weren’t more supportive.

By: Xiane

Xiane — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 02:21:28 +0000

I, too, have typed many things then deleted them all. My heart goes out to you.

By: Jasie VanGesen

Jasie VanGesen — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 17:49:00 +0000

There are parts of this that could have been written about my own personal experience with my abortion – Five years ago this winter. My heart goes out to you and I’m so very sorry for all the things you had to deal with on top of your own natural grieving process.

By: craftydabbler

craftydabbler — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:45:04 +0000

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone in this.

By: Kareena

Kareena — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:45:06 +0000

I’ve sat here typing and deleting for roughly ten minutes trying to find words. I think I need to admit that there really aren’t many words to describe how this made me feel. The following will have to do though it is woefully inadequate:

Reading this has brought me to tears. I’m sorry you were treated like that. My heart goes out to you.