If you aren’t acting with compassion where you wish you were — with yourself, your child, your spouse, your family — forgive yourself.
If you can’t forgive yourself for not acting with compassion, forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself.
If you can’t forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself, forgive yourself for that.
Start somewhere. Start now. Wherever you are, whatever you’re thinking, if it’s “not ideal”, if it’s other than what you want, if it quite possibly is damaging someone you love (as not being able to forgive yourself does): forgive. Let go. Offer love. Start somewhere, because it gets easier with practice.
This is radical acceptance. If you cannot accept what is, accept your unacceptance.
When you forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself, soon you may forgive yourself for not acting with compassion.
When you forgive yourself for not acting with compassion, soon you may be able to forgive the other person, and act as you wish to in the first place.
And if not, letting go of that little bit additional resentment, letting yourself feel just that little bit better, is worth it for itself.
Start somewhere. Start now. And if you can’t or don’t or won’t, that’s ok too: forgive yourself.
Thank you. I needed this. Right now I’m pregnant, exhausted, emotional, stressed by the upcoming move and the fact that my husband has been living in a different town (for work) 5 days a week the past 3 weeks. My patience seems to have flown the coop. I’m trying to remind myself that this is a temporary situation, and it will get better. I’m trying to remember to give D more compassion… and myself as well.
love it!!
Thanks! I NEEDED that!
You rock my world, Arwyn. Thank you. :)
Thanks!
I am just getting around to catching up on blogs I haven’t looked at in weeks. I am having a horrible, terrible bad day. I am having one of those, “I am such a shitty terrible person my kid would be better off being taken away from me and given to someone worthy” kind of days. It’s not even that I’ve *done* anything. It’s just that *I* am so pathetic and awful.
Thank you.
Krissy — Oh, do I know those days. You are so welcome.
Today is my child’s 4th birthday. Today I forgive myself for not being the parent I feel my child deserves.
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Thank you for pointing me here, Arwyn.