Comments on: “Have you ever had to massage anyone… gross?”

By: I quit the world today « Raising My Boychick

I quit the world today « Raising My Boychick — Fri, 28 May 2010 09:13:26 +0000

[...] "Have you ever had to massage anyone… gross?" [...]

By: The Nerd

The Nerd — Wed, 26 May 2010 22:40:54 +0000

@Vittra – This is why I would love for the asexual community to gain a stronger voice in the matter. I can’t speak for them myself, but I imagine that it is very marginalizing to them for everyone to equate nudity with sexuality. Clearly, if an asexual person wanted to walk around nude, it would not be for the arousal of others!

By: Vittra

Vittra — Wed, 26 May 2010 22:03:33 +0000

This concept of ‘gross’ bodies is similar to what I hear commonly from people when they find out I go to nude beaches all the time(I live in a big city where nude beaches are uncommon, but come from a small town where they are the norm). People frequently ask ‘but aren’t there old/fat/ugly/wrinkled people there?’ and ‘do naked people try to talk to you?’. I usually just respond with ‘everybody has a right to be naked’ and that yes, we talk to each other and even horse around with each other in the water.

Mostly I attribute this attitude from others as a North American issue with not being able to separate nudity from sexuality; if I thought of every person I saw nude in a sexual way then I might be bothered by it as well, but instead I just think of them as people with bodies and their beauty is not based on my personal level of attraction to them.

By: JohannaMM

JohannaMM — Wed, 26 May 2010 14:17:13 +0000

I’ve heard so many messages through the years that I need to cover up. The other day someone told me the photo they’d seen on the Web was a really good one of me: I looked it up and part of me cringed–I am so very fat. Another part of me notices that I have a nice smile that involves my whole face and it really is a pretty good likeness.

When I’ve had massage, and not only from you, I have always gotten that feeling of acceptance. When I was in back spasm and could hardly get on and off the table, the therapist was all about “how can we make this work for you?” I think it must have something to do with the people who go into massage therapy and the training y’all get. I am grateful for the way you counteract the messages from society.

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 26 May 2010 04:39:05 +0000

This? Makes me feel good. Really good. I’m glad to know that there is such body positivity in the massage community. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me, but it’s great to hear it all the same.

By: Sheri

Sheri — Tue, 25 May 2010 23:17:11 +0000

People don’t seem to think of their bodies as vehicles for living, which is very sad. We don’t define ourselves in terms of how we feel, but rather by how others see us. I’m sure it would be much easier for people to accept and even love their own bodies if we weren’t bombarded with the idea that certain people should cover up because they are an assault on our eyes. I feel so sad for people who won’t get massages or wear shorts or go swimming or make love or whatever else they won’t do because of what other people might think or say.

By: Elita @ Blacktating

Elita @ Blacktating — Tue, 25 May 2010 15:25:03 +0000

Thank you for this. Like the other commenters, the first time I had a massage I was TERRIFIED of the therapist thinking I was “gross” (and I was about 7 months pregnant). I was so nervous I kept on my bra and underwear. I recently began eating better and exercising and even though I’ve only lost about 20 pounds and still have a way to go, I feel so much better about myself! I don’t know, something just clicked the other day and I decided I am no longer going to sit on the sidelines of life worrying about whether or not some stranger thinks I am too fat, too short, too ugly, too “whatever.” It’s nice to hear that you love the bodies you work on. I’ll remember this during my next massage.

By: The Nerd

The Nerd — Tue, 25 May 2010 13:43:50 +0000

As a follow-up to your thoughts:

Every time I bring up the issue of sexist public nudity laws (where women are required to wear shirts in places men do not have to) in mixed company, someone always brings up the “problem of gross bodies”. They completely derail the conversation away from sexism to sexuality. The basic premise seems to be that only sexy bodies (read: forms pleasing to the heterosexual white male) should be allowed to be bared in public, but since the government can’t enforce that, nobody should be allowed to be bared in public. … And yet when the weather gets hot, guess which of these same people take their shirts off?

I hope we can one day come to realize that the human body has beauty beyond that which is purely sexually pleasing.

By: Spilt Milk

Spilt Milk — Tue, 25 May 2010 12:06:09 +0000

You know, I had a bit of a lightbulb moment reading this. I have felt ‘gross’, or worried about being ‘gross’, on a massage table before. But that has only happened to me on the times that I’d had a massage in a beauty parlour (not something I tend to pay for myself, but I’ve been given a few gift certificates over the years.) It makes perfect sense when I think about it now: in those instances, I was in a place where the walls were covered with advertising for cosmetics, and the beautician was heavily made-up, and the overall aesthetic was about women aiming for a certain standard of ‘beauty’. So without consciously thinking about it, I’d obviously been affected by those messages and started to feel worried about my fatness and my stretchmarks and patches of dry skin on my elbows et cetera ad nauseum. But the times when I’ve seen a dedicated massage therapist in a therapeutic setting? I’ve always felt comfortable and at ease, because the focus of the decor and the therapist’s demeanour was on wellness, not on appearance.

By: Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries

Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries — Tue, 25 May 2010 08:33:03 +0000

I tweeted this but I’ll say it here as well. Concentrating on letting go of my notion that the therapist is thinking I”m “gross” is one of the benefits of massage in my opinion. The first few massages I got it took nearly the whole hour to relax and stop worrying about it. Now I only have occasional moments of self-doubt. I really think this moment of thoughtful, human touch has helped me love my body.

Honestly if the therapist IS thinking I’m gross it is more about them than it is about me. But, in my experience I think that a therapist without a reverence for the beauty of the human body wouldn’t be a very good therapist. I almost think you’d know. It is such a – I want to say – worshipful experience to me. I’ve told my therapist before that what she offers is so much more than “relaxation” or “a spa experience.” It really forces me to LOVE my body which has not always been easy for me.

It is wonderful to hear it from a therapists point of view.