Comments on: We knocked on the neighbour’s door

By: No, less-than-threes do not need their moms 24/7/365 « Raising My Boychick

No, less-than-threes do not need their moms 24/7/365 « Raising My Boychick — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 09:31:20 +0000

[...] We knocked on the neighbour's door [...]

By: Zoey @ Good Goog

Zoey @ Good Goog — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:57:58 +0000

We only have one neighbour – there’s a vacant block on the other side of our house, which appears to be frequented by broken down cars and high school truants but not anyone else. I was pretty reserved at first, because lets face it, there are so many times when I don’t want to have to be social. But we’re on very friendly terms now and I feel a lot of safety in that there is a friendly face just over the fence if I need anything.

By: Lauren @ Hobo Mama

Lauren @ Hobo Mama — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 08:39:53 +0000

What a great story! I hope my child can teach me to be neighbors, too. I’m always just scared we’re annoying everybody.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 04:55:42 +0000

My son calls our annoying neighbors “my friends!” Friends with an exclamation point. He talks to them, he plays with them, he seeks them out.

I’d rather be annoyed by them.

A lesson to be learned from my little boy.

By: Amber

Amber — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:26:11 +0000

Way to go! I have to admit, I have had similar conversations with my daughter, but I have not had the courage to meet her requests. In spite of the fact that I share similar views as you on community. I think that sounds like an excellent first step. :)

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 14:35:40 +0000

I’m so with you on this! Luckily, my two neighbors across the street (each with a little boy a year and 18 mos younger than my son) are VERY gregarious and they’ve slowly broken down my shyness barriers. It’s also helped that my backyard is a freakin’ disaster and so I spend most of my time in the front yard pushing H in the swing. I guess southerners take that as an invitation to come on over!

But knocking on a door like you did?? Holy conniption fit, Batman! You deserve the biggest, fattest gold star EVER for that.

By: Alina

Alina — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 02:25:57 +0000

Hi Arwyn, I’m extroverted and my son has picked that up too. Sounds like your son has as well. (Yay for extroverted people!) My son LOVES to play with our neighbors. When I pull in our driveway after daycare… if he sees the neighbors he begs to play with them. I have taught him to ask if they can play. It only took a few times where we walk over and they are about to go inside or by the time I unbuckle for him to learn that sometimes people can play and sometimes they cannot. He might be disappointed but I always remind him “maybe tomorrow!” and he just sails on. Like I said, I understand that because I’m a extrovert and an out-going person. So really, maybe your son is, too!

I think it’s very brave of you to tag along with him, if it is not your comfort zone. Maybe you’d be better off enrolling him in a class or something where he can play with others and you don’t have to socialize because you are sitting in the waiting room?

I can understand your fear that you don’t want to start a BAD relationship with anyone ‘odd’. But in this case, you have slowly developed a feel for these folks and I think it seems like you have a ‘green light’ they can be yard-friends where you stand in the yard with small talk and the kids play.

By: Alissia

Alissia — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:41:48 +0000

I don’t now that it ever does become second nature. And if we have any sensitivities at all, we’ve been through some variation of it before. Being a parent, being a neighbor isn’t easy. We tend to stick the parent thing out for the most part because we are rarely given the option not to. Would we choose differently if we could? I’d like to think not, but this is far from an easy job.

And being a neighbor is even harder, especially because in this day and gae we are not required to know our neighbors let alone associate with them. They have their world and we have ours. Does this make the world a better place? No, but it allows us to have a space that is comfortable. Not knowing that someone has problems alleviates the need to step in and help. Not getting to know them alleviates the pain that comes if you become friends and you or they must move. There are pitfalls.

But there are rewards. Friendship. Support. Help. Another set of eyes on your child at play. Someone to talk to about things, discuss things, even debate things. An adult. How often I’ve heard fellow parents berate the fact that they don’t get to have ‘adult’ conversations, but asked they also say they don’t know who their neighbors are. We have choices. And no, it’s not at all easy. Life is messy.

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:20:14 +0000

Oh, those neighbours have made the first move before — it’s the only reason I (kind of) know their names. ;) We’re definitely the odd ones out. But that’s ok, with the help of a gregarious 3 year old, we’re (apparently!) changing.

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 07:18:19 +0000

I have huge gobs of negative desire to move to Las Vegas, because I don’t want to have to kill The Man. And I would. He undergoes a radical personality change in the heat (defined, apparently, as “over 85F”). I’m never living anywhere with him without AC, and never ever anywhere that doesn’t consider 90F+ a heat wave. :-P

‘Course, given recent weather patterns, we may have to move to Seattle in a few years. Then maybe Canada…