This is my brain. The leaves are my cranium. Or maybe hair. I don't know, look at my brain, can it reason these types of tricky questions out?
And I think the slug just went into hibernation. (Do slugs hibernate? I bet I would know that, if my brain hadn’t been replaced by a maybe-hibernating grey slug with four neurons in its slimy slug head.)
There’s this thing, this hormone, called thyroid. Consider it your body’s energy regulator. More thyroid = more energy, higher metabolism, better brain function. (Until you get too much, and then your body sort of burns itself up, which is what causes spontaneous combustion. Or something.) Less thyroid = less energy, metabolism like a bucket of very cold molasses, and slimy hibernating slug brain.
I’m in “less thyroid” mode1.
It’s entirely my own damn fault, of course. I do this regularly — procrastinating on renewing my prescription for anti-slug fuel — but this time I not only left it too long, I didn’t want to go back to the same doc. And looking for a new primary care provider when one is fat, and has no desire to get fatter by trying to get thinner, is not exactly, shall we say, fun. So I put that off, too.
And when I finally did find a new PCP (a process about as enjoyable as I expected it to be, and I still don’t know if he’s willing to be unbigoted enough to work with long term), he wanted me to stay underthyroided long enough to get a “good baseline” from which to calculate a new, non-slug-brain dosage. Isn’t that special?
It is thanks to my new status as a humanoid Ariolimax that posting here has been slow of late. Because slugs probably do have a lot to say, but it mostly revolves around an abiding hatred for salt and beer, and I sort of figured y’all might not find that especially interesting. Although, I could be wrong. Insert yet another bad slug-brain joke here.
I’d be more concerned about this transformation, or offer predictions for its cessation, but that would require at least five neurons, and a higher order grey matter in my cranium.
In the meantime, all your veggies are belong to me. Nom.
Slimy, slimy nom.
- Not no thyroid, quite, because a sweet and ridiculous friend of mine left a bottle of her, much lower dose than mine, thyroid script in my mailbox — which, as I pointed out, is illegal in at least two ways. So, um… no one read this foot note. ↩
Oh my, if you can write this entertainingly with only 4 neurons and a slug’s-eye view of the world, we all betta watch out when you get your hands on that thyroid!
Anyway, I’m all for blogging when–and only when–you feel like it.
Auntie — ah, but see, I WANT to be blogging, I just don’t have the capacity to follow through on anything right now. Because mildly amusing bad slug-brain jokes are about all I can manage at the moment. Which, because it always feels like 3am when I got up at 5am two days ago (sleep deprivation: it’s how smart slugs and other beer-adverse creatures get drunk), I find uproariously funny. So even though I’ve plenty of ideas, I’m mostly shelving them until I feel fully homo sapiens* again. You can thank me later.
*Or at least as much as I ever do.
Not to second-guess (you’re already skeptical of your new PCP) – but I’m very curious why this doc would want a new “baseline”? Especially when it’s abundantly clear that you feel like shit, right now? I’ve been hypothyroid for nearly two decades, and no doctor has ever suggested that deliberate deprivation would tell us anything new. My sister has had to go off her thyroid hormone periodically, but that’s because she lost her thyroid to cancer, and every once in a while her doctor needs to do a test that requires her to go without. I’m sincerely puzzled why anyone would try this with a garden-variety hypothyroid condition.
I hope you get back into balance soon. I know how hard it is to do *anything* without my little morning pill.
As far as slug-chow goes, I’ve got some lovely rainbow chard that overwintered. Nom indeed!
Sungold — the baseline thing actually makes sense: by the time I came to him I had been on a new dose for almost three weeks, and since it takes a month (or so) for one’s TSH to stabilize with a particular level of thyroid, we figured that by waiting a week or two, we’d get more relevant information than if I got the blood test just then (which would have reflected in part the time before that med level, when I was either taking some from the Boychick’s script or not taking any). And the reason to get the new information is because I’m also switching formulations, so he can’t just prescribe the same stuff I had been taking.
And I’ll take the chard. Nom!
Oh, that does make sense, then, in a very roundabout and confusing way! I had misunderstood and thought that you were not getting any exogenous hormones at all.
If you find that one formulation is more helpful than another, I’d be interested to know. I’ve always taken straight levothyroxine, which is synthetic T4, but I know some people take other things. Also, there seem to be differences of opinion as to whether the brand-name and generic versions of levothyroxine vary in any meaningful way.
The chard is gorgeous, but since it’s entering its second season, it’s going to be very strong-flavored, and I expect it to bolt anyday. Only the most stalwart slugs can handle it!
I did better on compounded T3/T4 than I did on levothyroxine, but it’s also expensive and not covered by my insurance, so I’m going to try a synthetic mass-produced T3/T4. If that doesn’t work, I may give dessicated thyroid a go — if I do, I’m sure I’ll write about it at some point!
And I’ll deal with that chard for you. I’m a slug with a strong — if currently exhausted — constitution.
Sympathy. Good PCPs are hard to find. I’m married to one, and she would understand your problems in a way I cannot.
Meanwhile that poor four neuron brain slug has to care for an active boychick. I sympatise with you both.
My message this noon wishing you felt as well as I did was me having my usual foot in mouth disease. Hope it didn’t hurt as much as Im afraid it did. I do love you and trust that even on low thyroid you cope.
Doctors almost always know more than patients, just not always better. Hope yours listens to you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling sluggish.
If it’s no problem, though, would you mind steering clear of my garden? I promise to supply you with all the veggies you can eat, as long as you leave my chard seedlings alone. Deal? ;)
Amber: Oh FINE, I’ll just sit over here and gorge myself on overwintered rainbow chard. You can keep your scrumptious tender seedlings all to yourself!
;)