Comments on: NPFP Guest Post: I didn’t have the words

By: Dw3t-Hthr

Dw3t-Hthr — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:36:41 +0000

I am so sorry.

I hope that telling your story has helped.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:10:16 +0000

Thank you for your post. You are hitting on a topic that is all too familiar to too many women that were once girls. I am so glad that you have realized how to stop this abuse from continuing with your own children – teaching children that sexuality is not shameful, teaching them proper names for their body, teaching them about their body… I think, and I hope, that our society is moving in a direction wherein this is RECOGNIZED for abuse and children and women are PROTECTED instead of blamed for the abuse. Even though “child on child” it is abuse because it is an ABUSE OF POWER. More teen, tweens and younger should get education on peer sexual abuse – there is education around adult to child sexual abuse, but not as much around child on child. He is a predator and no doubt went on to victimize more, and likely is continuing this pattern as an adult. The important thing is that you are sharing your story now AND you are teaching your children to respect and love themselves and teaching them how NOT to become victims. Thank you again.

By: Annie @ PhD in Parenting

Annie @ PhD in Parenting — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:12:59 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing your story here. Another place you may want to consider submitting it is to Violence Unsilenced. A very powerful site for victims of abuse to share their stories. http://violenceunsilenced.com/

By: kaninchenzero

kaninchenzero — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:37:37 +0000

I’m so sorry he did this to you. I’m sorry the people who should have protected you didn’t, that some of them abetted your abuse and blamed you for it.

Thank you very much for sharing this. I. It helped me put something that was done to me when I was eleven into context as. As abuse. As not the consensual sex I’d told myself it was. Some of the trauma reactions I could never explain make much more sense now.

By: Faceless

Faceless — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:13:23 +0000

This was my post. I want to thank you all for taking the time to comment, and also share your own stories. I didn’t really expect it but I think I needed it to hear these things, so it means a lot.

By: Krissy

Krissy — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:31:51 +0000

I understand. I went through a very similar situation when I was growing up. I was 7. He was 11. His name is Michael. He did get all the way to raping me. I don’t know if penis in vagina really magnifies the shame and horror any more than any of the earlier stuff does.

I hope there is someone in the world who can comfort you for your pain. You deserve it.

By: Luci

Luci — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:13:25 +0000

First thank-you for writing it out for us to read and take in. You are super brave and although I don’t know where you are on your path of recovery, I feel hopeful that you are on it and won’t be sidetracked by all the bs that keeps women from ever fully living free lives. I totally related to you having not said his name in years. After I was raped in HS, guys that knew about it called me by his last name when they saw me in the hallway or at a party, but I never said his name, never. When I started my recovery, I was obsessed with his name, I made big gaudy art with his name all over it. I think now I was trying to show myself that I am not him, I don’t belong to him. I have power to name him for what he is, a rapist. I was a victim of that, but it doesn’t consume me and when I feel like it will, I make big gaudy art to remind myself that I’m not ashamed of my behavior or my victimization. (Which helps today, bc I know that I won’t be one of those adults that looks the other way bc I’m still drowning in my own shame.) I love myself for getting through it. And I love you for being here for all of us still on the path of recovery or just starting out.
Big Hugs and cheers to you!

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:59:08 +0000

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, and that you were also victimized by other students and teachers in the form of name-calling and slurs. That is awful.

You were 9 years old. I don’t think that you could have been expected to speak up. 9 year olds don’t have the tools to deal with this, which is why they are victims. S is the one who is at fault here, along with the adults who didn’t support you or adequately supervise you. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

By: Sheri

Sheri — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:50:21 +0000

I’m blown away that a teacher could see something like that happening and just jump to the conclusion that you were a “disgusting girl.” At the very least there should have been some digging to find out what was going on. Not only should you have been protected, but that boy was also only 11 years old; touching you like that is a huge red flag that he was probably also suffering from some kind of abuse at home. (I’m not bringing that up to minimize your experience in any way…I’m looking at it from a teacher perspective and how I’d want to call in someone to investigate what was going on with him, partly to stop him from ever doing it again and partly to protect him from whatever he might be going through. At 11, it might not have been too late to “fix him.”)

I’m so sorry this happened to you and that you didn’t get the protection you needed.

By: phoenix rising

phoenix rising — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 01:39:30 +0000

Thank you for sharing; my heart goes out to you.