Life is: growing plans ever bigger, scrambling to keep up commitments already extant, deadlines long since missed and still looming ahead, inspiration abounding, dubious coping skills on the sly, perspective shifts vertiginous and plentiful, and never enough time when everything wants done now.
***
Life is: a hand clutching a hand, a ring digging into flesh and bruising bone, both holding on tight. Don’t leave me — I have you. Some days I’m wearing the ring and bearing what little of another’s pain I can; some days I’m squeezing, oblivious, knowing only my own need to not let go.
***
Life is: a thousand perfect potential words, a dozen times a day, lost to a single sweet “mama!”
***
Life is: that moment after inhale, full to bursting, waiting to deflate; that moment after exhale, knowing fresh air’s waiting only to stop being denied before rushing in and expanding everything.
***
Some days, the self care is simply choosing to sleep.
This is lovely.
And I had not read your self care post before, and I loved it. You say true things, and beautifully. Thank you.
I reread the self care post when I wrote this, and started laughing at how much was the same: I’m in the same massage classes (upper body instead of lower), with the same teacher; out of thyroid, using the Boychick’s pills (though I haven’t made a doctor appointment yet…); trying to juggle blogging and school and LIFE, and just laughing at the idea of adding self-care on top of it all.
Many things are different, though, and my thoughts on the nature of self-care and why it’s so hard now (as opposed to when I had a still-nursing just-two year old) have changed some. (Part of my revelation: it’s not that I don’t do self care, it’s that I incorporate it into my day and my life, and don’t sit down and Do Ten Minutes Of Self Care — which makes it awfully hard to record.)
And I’ll add that to the list of things to write about — one day.
So, so lovely. :)
So perfect!
Amber and Amber: thank you.
<3
sleep is good.