I hear good things about Montessori, and wonder why we aren’t looking at any, and then remember the price tag. Which not only is off putting to us, but more or less guarantees class homogeneity in their students, which I find problematic.

(Granted, that’s more or less — mostly slightly less — true of all the schools we’re looking at, but at this one it is particularly difficult to overlook.)

On another note, I work for an organization that supports families of gender-nonconforming children – if you’re interested, our website is http://www.TransActiveOnline.org and see if we have any resources you might not have run across yet. Supporting your child is the best thing you can do, and I applaud you!

Do you have any Montessori preschools in your area? It can sometimes be hard to find good ones but if you do they’ll help with a lot of what you mention (it’s much more of an “unschooling” approach). I’m hoping D will be able to go to a Montessori preschool starting in another year or so. I would love for him to go thru elementary there, too, but not sure that will be feasable… Anyway if you have questions about Montessori or what to look for in one of their schools let me know.

@mightymarce

Now if only those perfect schools would fall out of the sky. LOL

But. But. That is not the whole story. My daughter’s school doesn’t have ‘work’, and all of the learning happens through open-ended play. She is able to move between many activities, far more than I could offer at home, and engage creatively. The teachers focus on emotional and social development, and are very aware and on top of any power dynamics that happen. I do not fear that my child will be bullied, or be a bully. There is no fear or humiliation used to keep the children in line. There is a garden at the school, and an extremely diverse student population. The preschool director spends time ranting to me about how much she hates commercialism and the licensing of every toy, book and children’s clothing item.

Is the preschool perfect? No. Nothing is perfect. But I am confident that it is still very good, and that even given its downsides my influence is still stronger than the other preschoolers’ influences. And as I, like you, need time, I accept the imperfection. In some ways I’m actually glad that my daughter is learning to deal with these social dynamics in this environment, that is still safe and has a strong focus on the whole child. Next year she will be going to kindergarten, and I expect that there will be less of a holistic and creative approach to schooling. Mastering some of the nuances of socializing with her peers now may help her with the transition later, so that beginning formal schooling is less traumatic overall.

You have a lot of love and sympathy from me, the choice is hard. Boychick will soon be old enough to express his own young opinion on people he meets. That tells a lot.

Im sure glad my mother never sent me to that private boarding school somebody recommended.

The idea of finding a group of parents to share home schooling is also worth looking into. Could you manage to teach 5 or so one day a week in your home if the others did likewise in theirs?

Boychick would get more adult and less peer company, pro and con.