Comments on: Open thread: On first periods

By: Eagle of the Ninth

Eagle of the Ninth — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:44:38 +0000

Heh-thank *you* for letting me whine about this!

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 20:07:47 +0000

Eagle of the Ninth — If I didn’t appreciate old-post necromancy, I would close comments on old posts! Thank you for sharing your experience.

By: Eagle of the Ninth

Eagle of the Ninth — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 17:15:59 +0000

Mine sucked-not because of anything anyone else did-my mum
was sensible enough for once. But I am a trans guy and so puberty
was a horror house. I hadn’t even realised what I was yet, I just
knew that this was ALL WRONG. I shouldn’t be bleeding like this and
I shouldn’t have my chest mutating. (I was about 12 at the time, by
the by.) On top of that, my periods came every three or even two
weeks, and they were HEAVY. As in, I was not just cramping but
getting light-headed from loss of blood heavy. I had to go on
medication to deal with that for a few years-thankfully it sorted
itself out eventually. I realise I’m being a bit of a necromancer
posting this…

By: Eve

Eve — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:29:21 +0000

When we were kids, my younger brother and I used to bathe together. One day we discovered Mom’s box of tampons, which had a picture of one opening up like a flower – so we spent our bath-time soaking them all and decorating the tub with flowers :) Mom had to explain that she really NEEDED those (she didn’t really say why), so we weren’t to play with them anymore.

Later on, in 5th or 6th grade, we had “the girls-only talk” in the school gym, complete with a cartoon film-strip (I’m dating myself here). So I waited. A long time. One day, when I was about 12, I gave in to my curiosity and put in a tampon, broke my hymen in the process, so there was a little blood. I thought – are you supposed to do something to bring it on? I thought maybe I should expect periods from then on, but no . . . I waited as all my girlfriends got theirs. This was in the days when pads came with an elastic belt that went around your waist, and safety pins to attach the pad to the belt. Seriously.

Then a couple of months after I turned 14, I felt light-headed and nauseous, and had a headache, and told my Mom. She said “you’re getting your period” and sure enough it came the next day. I used tampons from day one (which Dad bought for both of us), never could stand pads. Fortunately, I’m one of those “urban legends” a previous commenter spoke of – clock-work regular, and cramps maybe once every couple of years. It will all be over soon as I’m in my late 40s now.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:11:03 +0000

as a side note, I always felt special because during the “period talks” we received in school from ages 10-12, I could raise my hand and say, “Hey, don’t worry too much about this stuff, it’s no big deal.”

By: Sharon

Sharon — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:08:35 +0000

I got my first period at age 9. . . young, but it runs in my family (my grandmother started at the same age), so I was warned well before that. I remember distinctly starting in the car on the way home from school, so the bathroom and clean underwear weren’t far away. I feel really grateful that it just wasn’t a big deal — my mom bought me some pads, told me a couple horror stories about the pads she had to wear in the ’70s, and that was that. Because I was so young, I didn’t start using tampons regularly for another . . . well. . . ten years, mainly because I thought they were gross. (I wish I’d rethought that position a little earlier, though. . . it would have saved a lot of stains.) I was also lucky in that my periods were sporadic for the first few years; I don’t think the super heavy flows and cramping set in until maybe age 11 or 12.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:13:56 +0000

Thanks for saying that, Howie.

(Yes, I know I’m super late to this period party)

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 08:12:05 +0000

That was pretty much mine too. I don’t think I told my mom the first couple weeks. I barely remember much about it, really, and certainly not the very first time I saw I was bleeding.

I can’t wait to have a big huge celebration for my daughter, though. If she wants one.

By: Amelia

Amelia — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 14:52:55 +0000

I don’t really remember my first period, but I do know that it was at the end of July between grades 8 and 9. So I must have been 14. Most other girls in my grade 7 class had their period while we were on our grade 7 class trip, except for myself and one other girl. We felt very much like outsiders and talke about how we wished we would get ours, and compared the pads our moms had packed for us ‘just in case’.

By my second period, or maybe the first, I had cramps so bad that I couldn’t stand up. One day in grade 10 I had to get my Granny to pick me up from school because my tampon had leaked and the blood had soaked through my jeans. Of couse I told her I was sick, because I knew she didn’t like to talk abut those things.

My mom told me all about periods and reproduction when I was about 6, but she never hid anything. I don’t think she ever closed the bathroom door. I could read very well for my age, so I had read Our Bodies Ourselves cover to cover well before I hit puberty.

My mom did buy me a subscription to New Moon magazine and show me how to use a pad. She wanted to have a party, but I was an extremely shy child/teen and was mortified at the thought of a party for me.

By: Om

Om — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:06:21 +0000

I was 11 years old. I went to a conservative Christian school at the time, and it did not offer the students any sort of sex ed or puberty education at any level (I do remember we somehow managed to discuss fetal development and childbirth without mentioning intercourse or the menstrual cycle!!). I went out of the way to educate myself however because I have always been fascinated by reproduction and the human body, and in fact I grew up to be a nurse. I wasn’t discouraged in this, but I also wasn’t spoken to by any adults about the matter. I had it pretty firmly in my mind that I wouldn’t have to worry about my period until I was at least 13. The thought was exciting, but when the morning arrived that I discovered a big brownish/bloodyish stain in my underwear, I had no idea what it was! I was pretty sure it wasn’t my period because I wasn’t 13 yet (heh), so I figure it just must be some staining in that “discharge” I kept reading about that you get as you develop. I put some toilet paper in my underwear and went about the day ignoring it. Luckily I didn’t really bleed until I got home. I was a “latchkey kid”, and I remember seeing the blood and sitting alone for a long time, thinking, “Oh my god, what if I *did* just get my period?” … and having a strange rush of feelings about that.

Later in the evening, I showed my mother because I simply couldn’t believe it was possible. This bring up sad memories… because what I recall is that my mother’s face fell, and she said “You did get your period.” I was ecstatic though, and I told her so. “Well, you feel that way now,” she said, “but after awhile you’ll wish you didn’t have periods.”

Of course if that’s not a self-fulfilling prophecy :). No one around me had ever really discussed menstruation, ever. It wasn’t an outright secret, it was just never mentioned and since it didn’t happen to me, I didn’t think about and didn’t manage to pick up on the negative attitudes everyone had until I ran into them head on.

I realized very quickly that adults weren’t *happy* I got my period, they were embarrassed! I was humiliated by their embarrassment, and so I learned that you don’t talk about it, ever, to anyone. Within one year, I went from being overjoyed that I was growing up to being unable to imagine anything more shameful than menstruation. I never thought that was right, but I couldn’t control my feelings. At my private school, it was barely even discussed among the girls, and only in serious-faced whispers.

And that’s what made it hard. It wasn’t so much the bleeding or the severe cramps I later developed, it was that I had to deal with that all on my own without talking about it anyone. I couldn’t tell anyone why I missed school (of course, my mom knew I wasn’t really “sick”). I couldn’t tell anyone why I couldn’t go swimming. I couldn’t ask anyone what to do because my tampon wouldn’t hold up a whole two class periods like I needed it to.I was completely alone as a disgusting icky female.

Reading over this now, I’m surprised I can say I don’t feel any of that shame anymore and will openly discuss periods with anyone. A huge amount of that is due to becoming a nurse, but it’s other things too. Maybe it’s the culture, maybe it’s the company I keep, or it’s that I’m an adult now, but people in general seem a whole lot more relaxed and open about the whole deal than just 15 years ago. And I really fought against those feelings of shame within me because I hated them and I hated where they came from — it wasn’t right. That’s not to say I never crumpled before them, but I’m proud to say that by the time I was legally an adult I was able to ask a male sales clerk for the right sized Diva cup! (yeah, I did have to work up some courage first).