Comments on: NPFP Guest Post: It’s Never Simple

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:05:29 +0000

I grew up with verbal and emotional abuse, mixed in, of course, with some really good times and all wrapped up in (immature but nevertheless real) love. And it is really hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there; we have this desire to vilify abusers, to write them off as Evil Beings (and, I dunno, maybe sometimes they are) — or, if we can see that they’re not all evil, to write off tellings of the abuse as exaggerations, or hysteria, or flat out lies. But it’s never that simple.

Thank you for sharing this.

By: JohannaMM

JohannaMM — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:56:42 +0000

No, it’s never simple. I’ve had episodes of verbal and even minimal physical abuse, and yet I stayed. The good times were so good, and the preponderance of the time. Besides, he has a disease. There’s been no abuse for probably a decade or more, now. For the last several years, he has been extremely attentive and sweet. Most of the time, I think it’s good that I stayed, but I feel bad for what the kids witnessed and sometimes experienced.

By: Keyvah

Keyvah — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:45:44 +0000

I am so grateful for this post. Your ex’s behavior is a nearly mirror-image of my ex’s (minus the baby, but plus a terminally ill-dad). My (almost)ex-husband contacted me this morning by facebook because he wants to finalize our divorce after going MIA for 3 years. I spent the rest of the morning scouring my profile, securing my two blogs to make absolutely sure he couldn’t figure out where I am, and calling friends to figure out where to have the papers sent. A friend (who only knows me post-ex) asked me if I was afraid, if he had ever hit me. Like you said, it’s never that simple.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It’s so amazing to know I’m not alone.

By: Amber

Amber — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:55:46 +0000

I am glad that you left. And I understand that it really is never simple. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope that it is helpful to someone else who needs it.

By: Spilt Milk

Spilt Milk — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:54:49 +0000

Your story is very powerful, so although I don’t have much to add, I wanted to thank you for sharing it.

By: Penny Sautereau-Fife

Penny Sautereau-Fife — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:25:48 +0000

I stayed 6 years with a woman who beat me because I believed her when she said no one else would ever touch me. There’s no shame in however long you stayed, we’re only human. But there’s pride in having left. Remember that.

By: treacy

treacy — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:16:27 +0000

You are a brave, amazing women and fantastic mother. I don’t think badly of you. Sometimes it easy to stay in a horrible situation, better the devil you know eh?

I teared up a few times reading this. No one, no one should ever have to put up with this. I’m glad you were able to leave.

Good luck to you and your LO. I wish you every happiness