It seems inevitable

Just enough of my persistent-not-exactly-optimism is left that I won’t say it is inevitable… but damn does it seem it.

It seems inevitable that whenever I have a day of wow-I-totally-get-this-parenting-thing, look-at-me-be-zen-about-his-tantrums, damn-dude-why-can’t-you-just-let-it-go-like-I’m-doing, the next day — the very next day — I completely fucking lose it. Break-a-plate-in-anger-when-he-dumps-out-the-eggs-he-doesn’t-want lose it.

I don’t like it. Maybe the zen days aren’t worth it, if this is the price.


In other news, The Man has been fixing the bloggityblog up, even as I’ve been trashing our real life home. Raising My Boychick now has a mobile site, the Archives show an accurate post count (instead of including the glossary not-really-posts), Popular Posts is back, and all the old post internal links back to blogspot have been replaced with RMB links. So yay him.


In other other news, today is — was — my nephew-I-haven’t-even-met-yet’s 2nd birthday, and I am a shit aunt and a shit sister and a shit sister-in-law because I have done nothing about it, except remember at a time when I couldn’t call and spend the rest of the day beating myself up about it.


That is all.

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15 Responses to It seems inevitable

  1. You have zen days? I don’t even have those!

    • Few and far between — perhaps fortunately if they’re to be followed by plate smashing days.

      One day I’ll figure out how to separate the two.

      (At least it was a plastic plate, cheap and already half-broken.)

  2. zen days, throw stuff out the front door days, yep.

    AND… you’re still awesome.

    the best I can do about birthdays is hopefully remember to call sometime within a few days of the actual birthday, plus/minus. and I’m only slightly ashamed to say I’ve never been successful at sending a thank you card for a gift I’ve/we’ve received… (bag over head, hiding behind the bathroom door)

  3. <3 that is all. just major love coming your way.

  4. Hugs. You’re not shit and you don’t need beating up. I think, as well as the way of Arwyn, the zen vs plate-smashing stuff is pretty much the way of the universe. At least around here it seems to be.
    Also – yay mobile site!

  5. I’ve got exactly the same problem… although maybe not exactly, sometimes my zen and not so zen fluctuate within the same day. I think there is a maximum amount of time one person can stay in control, conscious, selfreflecting, it depends on a number of variables… mm I think I’m turning this into a blog post.
    anyway, thanks for blogging

  6. Well, if it makes you feel better, you’ve made me feel better about having those plate-breaking days myself. Because sometimes I figure everyone else has it all together, you know?

    On reflection, maybe that doesn’t make you feel better. But hope something does! Do you think zen days are the result of practice — as in, maybe they’ll continue to get easier and more frequent? I can hope…

  7. Well the fact that you manage to have a full day worth of zen is a wonderful thing. I find invariably at some point through out the day one of the boys will just make lose it. I have come to the belief that it is a child’s job to drive a parent around the bend.

  8. If you ever need help being zen – just give me a hollar! But try not to catch me when I’m being the worst mom ever.
    Hugs and stuff.

  9. Isn’t the rule of zen that as soon as you know you have achieved it you have lost it?

    • Heh. Yeah, there’s definitely something there about being self-congratulatory, and then when I wobble, getting pissed that it’s not as easy as it was and thus, ah, REALLY wobbling.

      That’s it, no more zen days.

  10. You are lucky you get any zen days. Its designed for another purpose, but the serenity prayer really does help when one is wobbling.

    Lady, give me the strength to endure the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    (sposed to start God, but Lady works)

  11. Pingback: Choosing Joy « Raising My Boychick

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