Comments on: Whose child is this? Kyriarchy, privilege, and motherhood http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/ Feminist thoughts inspired by parenting a presumably-straight white male Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:35:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: whose standards? « Love | Peace | Ohana http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4358 whose standards? « Love | Peace | Ohana Wed, 03 Feb 2010 21:10:19 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4358 [...] does not meet a white woman’s standards, that is Super Bad Shit. It’s like Arwyn says here: If you are not white, if you are not cis, if you are not well-off (forget being on public [...] [...] does not meet a white woman’s standards, that is Super Bad Shit. It’s like Arwyn says here: If you are not white, if you are not cis, if you are not well-off (forget being on public [...]

]]> By: Arwyn http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4176 Arwyn Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:59:43 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4176 All of what Annie said, plus there's the idea that the patriarchy wants us to breed (again, for a very certain, limited value of "us"), and thus we get "status" for fulfilling that obligation. This is seen more in some cultures than others: think of cultures where infertility is seen as grounds for divorce (that is, a woman is held to be worthless if she can't make babies). But I would counter that with 1) it only applies to the "right" women, so again proves that motherhood is a <em>function</em> of relative privilege, and 2) even in cultures where this applies, even when the "right" women make "good" babies, the "status" achieved is only a further sign of our oppression: breeding doesn't make us equal with the master, it only makes us good bitches. All of what Annie said, plus there’s the idea that the patriarchy wants us to breed (again, for a very certain, limited value of “us”), and thus we get “status” for fulfilling that obligation. This is seen more in some cultures than others: think of cultures where infertility is seen as grounds for divorce (that is, a woman is held to be worthless if she can’t make babies).

But I would counter that with 1) it only applies to the “right” women, so again proves that motherhood is a function of relative privilege, and 2) even in cultures where this applies, even when the “right” women make “good” babies, the “status” achieved is only a further sign of our oppression: breeding doesn’t make us equal with the master, it only makes us good bitches.

]]> By: Arwyn http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4175 Arwyn Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:36:07 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4175 You know, I almost went looking for an update on her story, and couldn't bring myself to do it. There are so many reasons to be heartbroken and angry about what's happening to that family. You know, I almost went looking for an update on her story, and couldn’t bring myself to do it. There are so many reasons to be heartbroken and angry about what’s happening to that family.

]]> By: Annie @ PhD in Parenting http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4147 Annie @ PhD in Parenting Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:27:23 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4147 Jill: I think the assertion that women with children are privileged over women without takes on a number of forms, depending on where you live and what the political/social situation is. Some examples (again, not all apply in all places) include: - Paid or even unpaid maternity leave: I've had this one on my blog, where single people say they would like to take time off work to give back to society in some other way other than being a mother and their bosses won't allow it. With regards to paid maternity leave, there is of course the claim that they do not want to finance our breeding. - More consideration from employers: People with families are often allowed to leave on time, whereas single ones are expected to do overtime. - Someone to take care of them in their old age - Priority parking, priority boarding on flights, etc. - Ability to be able to opt out of the workforce without being seen as lazy/useless Jill:

I think the assertion that women with children are privileged over women without takes on a number of forms, depending on where you live and what the political/social situation is. Some examples (again, not all apply in all places) include:

- Paid or even unpaid maternity leave: I’ve had this one on my blog, where single people say they would like to take time off work to give back to society in some other way other than being a mother and their bosses won’t allow it. With regards to paid maternity leave, there is of course the claim that they do not want to finance our breeding.
- More consideration from employers: People with families are often allowed to leave on time, whereas single ones are expected to do overtime.
- Someone to take care of them in their old age
- Priority parking, priority boarding on flights, etc.
- Ability to be able to opt out of the workforce without being seen as lazy/useless

]]> By: Blog for Choice Day 2010: Trust Women « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4129 Blog for Choice Day 2010: Trust Women « Raising My Boychick Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:39:52 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4129 [...] Whose child is this? Kyriarchy, privilege, and motherhood [...] [...] Whose child is this? Kyriarchy, privilege, and motherhood [...]

]]> By: Summer http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4086 Summer Fri, 22 Jan 2010 18:33:12 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4086 I don't think there is any woman who can get off being a mother without some sort of an attack on her ability/place/rank. Motherhood is held to such an ideal that no mother can actually reach it, we're all never going to be "good enough". Blah! I don’t think there is any woman who can get off being a mother without some sort of an attack on her ability/place/rank. Motherhood is held to such an ideal that no mother can actually reach it, we’re all never going to be “good enough”. Blah!

]]> By: Jill http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4078 Jill Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:43:14 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4078 "Like the assertion that women with children are privileged over women without. (No, I’m not going to link to where I encountered said assertion.)" OK, I run into this fairly often on feminist blogs. Arwyn, I have dug deep on this one and really tried to see how I am privileged in this area. I don't even get how I could be. Tax deductions? “Like the assertion that women with children are privileged over women without. (No, I’m not going to link to where I encountered said assertion.)”

OK, I run into this fairly often on feminist blogs. Arwyn, I have dug deep on this one and really tried to see how I am privileged in this area. I don’t even get how I could be. Tax deductions?

]]> By: Renarde http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2010/01/whose-child-is-this-kyriarchy-privilege-and-motherhood/#comment-4067 Renarde Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:14:47 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=1490#comment-4067 They've just taken the baby away from that poor woman with learning disabilities. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1245190/Mother-clever-raise-child-baby-removed-social-workers-running-away.html Breaks my heart to read that article. They’ve just taken the baby away from that poor woman with learning disabilities.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1245190/Mother-clever-raise-child-baby-removed-social-workers-running-away.html

Breaks my heart to read that article.

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