Comments on: I am thinking big thoughts

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 09:19:23 +0000

I am always hesitant to say that there are more important issues. (Link to the satirical/educational site Derailing for Dummies, a snarky but useful overview of common privilege tropes.) That is always true; it is nevertheless true that "little" things, as simple as word choice, do still matter. And while I wholeheartedly agree with the need to choose one's battles, I don't feel I've any right to choose another's battles for them, whether they be with toddlers or with societies. But I still struggle with questions energy conservation and direction as a movement, with nitpicking and accountability. I've no wish to dismiss the harm or help one has done -- but neither do I think "oh, it's all equal, everyone does some of both!" is an effective or useful answer, because there are those whose harmful deeds are so egregious that any endorsement of even their beneficial acts, with no matter how many footnotes detailing their less savory ones, leaves a disturbing taste. Thus 700 words of angst, only peripherally/catalystically about this particular issue.

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 08:59:14 +0000

Thank you.

I think the problem is that in the abstract, there are absolutes. Example: Transmisogyny is wrong, full stop. The shades and greys come in when we start talking about the so complicated, so conflicted real world, where transmisogyny exists alongside trans activism and queer activism and inspiration to fat women and second-generation Americans. Do many good works excuse something bad? That doesn’t sound right to me. Does one bad work negate all good ones? That doesn’t sound right to me either.

That’s why I have so many questions and no real answers, and why I feel completely unqualified to judge the sum of a person. I feel more confident labeling acts, because I can see their results: this hurts people, that helps people, that other harms and helps. Just don’t ask me to add those up and make a determination on a person’s worth from that.

By: Dad Who Writes

Dad Who Writes — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 07:42:34 +0000

I think you’re bang on about the checklists thing. As a complete outsider I read the post criticizing Cho with a sense of mounting frustration, possibly because I’d just been Reading accounts of how politicians in Northern Ireland can go on public radio and talk about the “abomination of homosexuality” and “curing” gays without censure . And this in a country ( mine) which supposedly has laws against hate speech.

It kind of felt to me that there are bigger battles to be fought about the treatment of ANYONE not defining themselves on a strictly heterosexual axis than about whether Margaret Cho has a temporary thing about transboy bands or whatever…

As we both know, when dealing with changing the behaviour of toddlers or societies, one has to choose ones battles.

By: Candice

Candice — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:54:27 +0000

I love this post! One of the big lessons I’ve learned is that things are mostly gray. They seemed so black and white when I was younger, but the older I got, the grayer it all got. I love the way you’ve written this all out. Your writing is beautiful.

By: Krissy

Krissy — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:40:28 +0000

Reading your blog helps me feel less alone in the world. I’m really glad you write about the things you write about. I feel like you and I fight a lot of the same internal battles and I’m really happy you have the guts to post about them.

(I have posted before, but my blog link is different because I pretty much got chased out of lj by folks who were awful about the stuff I wrote.)