Solstice

I type in the light of a candle and a Douglas fir adorned with electric strings of incandescent filaments.

I’d realized earlier it was solstice, Yule, the rebirth of the diminished Sun, my religious holy-day, and I’d “done nothing”. My lifemate, my atheist, found me a candle and a match, and brought it to me to light. In a dark night, at the end of a dark conversation in which I poured on him the dregs of my soul — I am nothing, I will be nothing, I can do nothing, all the oft-repeated protestations of a sleep-deprived anxietic –, he brought me exactly what I needed to bring forth flame. A little fire, while my soul strains for conflagrations. But enough.

There is still dark. I sit in the dark. But there is light, too, and I am surrounded by those who are here to help me make more. Day by day, a little more light, a little more sanity, a little more love and peace and hope: not handed to me, but crafted by me with the support of many hands.

Happy Solstice. May you have a candle in all dark times, and someone to bring you one when you lack.

9 Responses to Solstice

  1. That was really beautiful. Happy Solstice! Welcome Home Sun!

  2. Beautiful. Happy Solstice!! (and thank the powers that be – I need more light!!)

  3. Blessed Be!

    I spent the last two nights in almost-vigil, sitting up with my VERY FUSSY toddler. As a birth worker, I’m very conscious that the vigil is about sitting with Her as She brings forth the God; personally, I’d rather have spent the last two nights in labor, or with a laboring mom!

    Many blessings and light this season of dark.

  4. The best solstice I ever had was giving birth to my daughter. It’s nice celebrating her birthday each year now at that time.

  5. Beautiful! I hope you know that you are, sometimes, the candle in the darkness.

    Happy belated Solstice. :)

  6. Happy Solstice to you!

  7. You ARE someone, you DO some wonderful things, you WILL continue to do worthwhile things. The world is better because YOU are in it. You are indeed, often the candle and the candle-bringer.

  8. <3 to you, friend. You are a light in my life. Happy belated Solstice.

  9. This is lovely. Solstice is like warm barren-ness to me, if that means anything to you. I love it. Happy Belated Solstice.

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