Comments on: A study in endurance and ableism

By: “Have you ever had to massage anyone… gross?” « Raising My Boychick

Tue, 25 May 2010 14:10:32 +0000

[...] A study in endurance and ableism [...]

By: Muscle: Studentum burntoutus profundus « Raising My Boychick

Muscle: Studentum burntoutus profundus « Raising My Boychick — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:17:46 +0000

[...] A study in endurance and ableism [...]

By: Magic and Mayhem

Magic and Mayhem — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 07:55:58 +0000

I can so relate, from so many times over the years. I have lived my life being very honest about some parts of myself like being a sexual abuse survivor. It’s given me an opportunity to help so many people over the years who had been silent and opened up to me because I talked about it. Other parts, though, I no longer trust with almost anybody. They are too ignorant and when they hear the labels they change completely in how they view me, how they talk to me. I got too tired of trusting them and being disappointed so they don’t get to know that part of me. I hate that, like it’s something I’m hiding. I don’t hide these things because I have any shame about them or regret being “broken” in these ways but because too many people have let me down after I let them know and people don’t get to know these things about me any more.

So now I listen to the talk about these things that I am, that people think only exist in books and in people locked up somewhere, and it’s so lonely. I want to tell them how it is to be these things and that it’s not a terrible thing to be fixed. These things helped me survive things that were otherwise unbearable and give me strength in situations that would shatter other people. These things make me unique and amazing. As long as they’re hidden, I can’t tell them, but every time I’ve tried they don’t hear anyway.

Maybe someday.

Wonderful writing. I have been following you on Twitter but this is my first time on your blog. Powerful stuff. I’m off to look around some more.
~Alicia

By: Moria

Moria — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:53:20 +0000

Thank you for expressing this so well. I do this ALL THE TIME in classes… particularly religion class. My book is full of angry comments in the margins, mostly around the sections on homosexuality. Instructors really need to realize that not all their students fit within the boundaries of societally-dictated “normalcy.” I’m sorry that you feel unsafe, and I can completely relate to that feeling. I know it too well.

By: Lisa P

Lisa P — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:34:35 +0000

Powerful stuff. I have alot I want to say, but not enough time to say it!

My first question, though, is how would you like to see this subject taught? I mean, it has to be addressed somehow, right? Maybe statements more like, “Here is a list of symptoms some people *might* have, but it is variable and manifested differently in each person”? Or is that not the right nuance of what bothers you?

Then there is this whole subject I would love to hear your thoughts on, but not even sure how to explain it! Awhile ago, I was at a meeting where we did a focus topic on Compassion I think it was, or maybe Empathy, but it was about the negative aspects. I really need to write the woman and see if I can get the opening quote, because it blew my mind. I spent alot of time after that thinking about the words compassion vs empathy vs sympathy vs pity. I wanted to write something up on my blog, but did I ever take the time to do it? No. :/

I wish I had the time to more fully explain how I struggle with these words, but maybe you will run with it a bit and figure it out for me lol!

By: jesse_the_k

jesse_the_k — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 20:44:56 +0000

Important truths, beautifully stated. Thank you!

(here from FWD)

By: sundiszno

sundiszno — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:38:42 +0000

Thank you for stating this so beautifully and powerfully.

By: Emerson

Emerson — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:21:25 +0000

Wish I could express how stupidly harmful that stuff you rail against is as well as you do.

I do not know the numbers but people with our disease are surprisingly common. Everybody knows one, though few people are aware they do.

Im lucky. Always have been. Being male, white and large Though never really strong) only physical threats really bother me. Though I am often called defensive when accused of error.

Remember: it aint what group you fit in that matters, it is what you do.

Hope you can get the opportunity to refute them. Come out iff you want. Out me iff that helps your argument

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:57:26 +0000

Normally I am out anyway, partly because I usually can “get away with it” (where it would be really detrimental to others) thanks to the other various aspects of privilege I have (white and class privilege especially). I do this in part as a sort of public service (as JohannaMM was saying), but mostly because being “out” and upfront and outspoken about it is really important for my mental health. One of the things that the crazy thrives on is secrecy and shame — if I’m out, and refuse to be ashamed of it, then it cannot thrive.

Which is part of why it was so disturbing to feel so very not safe in a location I’d otherwise consider one of “my” places (my own school).

By: Susannah

Susannah — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:51:53 +0000

“I will be as calm as still deep waters, strong as a deep-rooted willow, proud as a cloud-touched mountain.” This is one of the many things I love about you, friend. You ARE these things even in the midst of this chaos for other people. Now you are (still, again) being so for yourself as well – to educate, to rage against the “machine”, to stand up and say “this is NOT all right. This is spreading lies and it hurts people.”
<3 Thank you.