Comments on: WFPP Guest Post: The Family Poster

By: Linksplosion! Personal stories edition « Zero at the Bone

Linksplosion! Personal stories edition « Zero at the Bone — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 23:45:54 +0000

[...] The Family Poster by Susannah at Raising My Boychick. Love ties together a family – the people who you love, and the people who love you. Your family is made of those people who build you up rather than tear you down, support you at all times, these are the people with whom you feel safe. A blood connection may or may not exist. Welcome to ZatB! My name is Chally. This blog is mostly about life and social justice. You can contact me at chally dot zeroatthebone at gmail dot com. I can also be found at Feministe, FWD/Forward and Radical Readers. [...]

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:26:40 +0000

Like Jessica, above, I live in California – but we can’t generalize people by the states they live in. Our kids look to us (and their teachers, and later, their peeps) to learn what they can view as acceptable behavior. I agree with Annie that children are naturally curious…so by answering their questions in a nonjudgemental manner, we teach them to not be afraid to ask anything.

By: Jessica (@It's my life...)

Jessica (@It's my life...) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:10:17 +0000

We did this last year in my daughter’s preschool class and I was surprised by how nonchalant all the kids were about the little girl who had two mommies on her family board. Granted we live in CA and they already knew both mommies. But 4 year old’s are so oblivious to “norms” that this stuff doesn’t faze them as much as it will later.
I think that few kids TV shows even feature “traditional” nuclear families now, so that “norm” isn’t being shoved in their faces all that often.

Now, the twins whose board showed pictures of their mommy who had died the year before? That sparked QUITE a lot of conversation. (And tears on the behalf of the parents!)

Oh! And the best book for showing how different families can be is Todd Parr’s “The Family Book.” Love it!

By: Susannah

Susannah — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:39:35 +0000

Thanks, everyone!

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:56:00 +0000

I cannot thank you enough for sharing this letter with us.

Some nights, I lie awake and wonder what I’m going to tell my son when he’s older. How am I going to explain that he used to have two mommies, but now he only has me? How am I going to explain that his daddy is a number? I look at him sometimes and wonder I’m going to make him understand that while things may not have turned out the way I planned, we are still okay?

I have written several letters to him, but none have said the things I want to express the way Susanna has here.

Thanks for reminding me that in the end, all that matters is love.

By: nicole

nicole — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:23:14 +0000

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:18:13 +0000

By the time I’m finally permanently in my stepson’s life, he will be about the same age as Keagan. One of my concerns is that he will get teased for having a mummy, a daddy, and a mommy (me), especially since Mommy will be living with Mummy not Daddy. But, while his Mummy, Mommy, and Daddy may not all love each other, we do all love him. That’s what’s most important. Thanks for an eloquent reminder, Susannah.

By: Ariane

Ariane — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:39:41 +0000

Beautiful post. Our family is so lucky to live in a bubble where the voices who would say “You can’t have two mummys” are in the minority. Writing like this helps make more and bigger bubbles.

I’m wishing peace and happiness for your family.

By: Spilt Milk

Spilt Milk — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:38:32 +0000

I’m tearing up too! All children should be so lucky, to have so much love.
It’s different, but when I started school I was the only kid with divorced parents, and on top of that I lived with my dad and not my mum. Single fathers were such a novelty then that it rarely passed without comment. I got a lot of cruel jibes at school. I like to think (hope) that things are changing though and difference more readily embraced.

By: Thankful Mama

Thankful Mama — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:26:38 +0000

Thank you – this is a lovely post. It is so true that family is love, no matter what ‘family’ looks like. A child needs and responds to love.