Comments on: Raising him purple: a defense of gender neutrality in early childhood

By: 10 Myths About Gender Neutral Parenting | Raising My Boychick

10 Myths About Gender Neutral Parenting | Raising My Boychick — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 06:32:28 +0000

[...] those topics are fundamental misconceptions about what I and many parents mean when we say “gender neutral parenting“. To that end, in what I expect will be a number of upcoming posts on the subject, here are [...]

By: “Gender Neutral Parenting”, in which Lisa Belkin at the NYT confuses “gender” and “gender roles/performance” | Raising My Boychick

Tue, 10 May 2011 01:45:14 +0000

[...] The point of “gender neutral” or gender diverse parenting isn’t to raise androgyne… — as though it were possible to force someone into a fully androgynous nonbinary gender — but to give kids a chance to develop without the programming of conventional (though hardly traditional) gender-coding. While in no way does this determine — much less subvert — a child’s inborn gender (or sexuality), it does make life easier for those whose genders, or gender performance preferences, are atypical, as they grow up welcome to explore and to pick and choose from a variety of colors, clothings, toys and activities, with which to construct gender performance(s) that feel most correct to them. [...]

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:59:54 +0000

Tariq — Thank you. Of course linkbacks and trackbacks are welcome. I don’t have a “submit trackback” feature, because most blogging platforms do that automatically now. But thank you for letting me know. :)

By: Tariq Smith

Tariq Smith — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 17:30:30 +0000

Your blog is fantastic and I am so appreciative of your ability to articulate many of the things I’m trying to think about, and to teach me about things I’ve not even thought about. I also appreciate the time and energy it must take to produce and maintain.
I couldn’t find any ‘trackback’ feature – I have, however, linked to your blog on my own. and this post and your post on the use of ‘crazy’ are both specifically linked to within my blog. Please let me know if you would like it removed (i only post infrequently so I the traffic is limited).

By: Jay B.

Jay B. — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 01:23:50 +0000

*sniff* You are the BEST mother ever. I wish my mom were more like you. I really do. ;__;

By: To Parents | Binary Subverter

To Parents | Binary Subverter — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 12:38:25 +0000

[...] so certain that’s what their bundle of joy will be. I wonder about why parents are willing to raise their child “gender neutral” yet still insist upon assigning their child a gender/sex. I haven’t actually seen [...]

By: Robyn

Robyn — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 20:27:40 +0000

I come at this from another perspective. I’m trans but my
ex partner has a real issue with my son being told at the moment.
She still wants a male role model for her son – and even my psych
said that my son wanted a normal dad – even though I told her that
he wanted his dad to be happy. I don’t think I’ve raised my son in
a tradtional gender fashion. But we did get him toys he liked to
play with such as trains and tractors. He just got interested in
them. We also tried to avoid the overtly sexist toys covered in
blue and pink as well as the t-shirts but let’s be honest, fashion
for boys and girls is very different even at toddler age. That said
- he’s non aggressive, not into sports or violent cartoons in spite
of peer influence at the age of 5. He’s actually a very good
communicator with an extensive vocabulary and much prefers playing
with girls in role play activities. His mum though still has
traditional views on males so when I eventually transition, I hope
it will open his eyes to a new world and help him think about
gender stereotypes – at least now he knows that his Dad is a little
bit different to other parents.

By: Ms. Rev.

Ms. Rev. — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 02:52:38 +0000

Found this post from Questioning Transphobia. LOVE these points you raise. My partner is trans, and there was so much pain on the part of my partner’s parents, about the “loss” of a gender they were really invested in. We will become parents at some point and we talk about all of this a lot. We’re both also former domestic workers and did our very best to resist the intense gendering of the kids we were lucky enough to take care of.

Also, another term that I love, to add to the pool, from a class that was discussing a Coptic text with a “genderless” narrator, is “genderfull.” The professor noticed that the narrator of the text expressed many, many, many gendered characteristics, some really explicit, and had started thinking about the narrator not as having “no” gender but instead having LOTS of gender. I love that, and now my partner and I say to each other “I love you, you’re genderfull” (in the same way we say “I love you, you’re wonderful.”).

One little question, though – I realize your blog is long established, but doesn’t naming it “Raising my boychick” make the mistake of assuming your child is a boy before your child has said so him- or herself?

By: Raising (Potentially) Trans Children at Questioning Transphobia

Raising (Potentially) Trans Children at Questioning Transphobia — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 16:29:11 +0000

[...] from the start that her child might be trans, and that this is perfectly fine. 1) Parents, this is our deal. It’s not something for those people over there to worry about or pay attention to; we’re the [...]

By: Transgender Child Awareness Week: December 5-11, 2010 « Raising My Boychick

Transgender Child Awareness Week: December 5-11, 2010 « Raising My Boychick — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 08:43:50 +0000

[...] Raising him purple: a defense of gender neutrality in early childhood [...]