Comments on: Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/ Parenting, privilege, and rethinking the norm Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:59:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: My brain has been replaced by a slimy grey slug « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-57099 My brain has been replaced by a slimy grey slug « Raising My Boychick Wed, 29 Dec 2010 23:11:18 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-57099 [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...] [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...]

]]> By: Monika Ederer-Mosing http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-21560 Monika Ederer-Mosing Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:30:17 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-21560 I have always liked my body and I don't know why I shouldn't. The jokes about my body don't bother me very much either. What hurts me terribly are these people who preach moral sermons on me, although they don't even know me much. Why do they condemn me to permanent hunger? They say it's not hunger but appetite but after fourteen diets I know it's terrible hunger, right in my stomach. They sent me to diets consisting only of tea, for three weeks. How can they say this is healthy? From my last diet, consisting of fruits and vegetables, I got a gastritis. I had tried to silence my hunger by the necessary amounts of salad, which, according to my doctor, was the cause of the gastritis. The worst experience about this last diet was that my colleages at work preached me sermons to regain weight because, as they said, I had an anorexia. Four doctors didn't detect any anorexia, but my colleages continued to tell me to eat more. When I said my weight was normal they replied "But you were fat first". After half a year, it was just too much for me. One person reproached me of having regained weight, some days later another admonished me to eat more. I was desperate now, I just threw my diet away and I will never enjoy losing weight again, if such mean treatment is the "success" of all this hunger! I'm doing exercise daily one hour but people keep on lying that exercising would make me lose weight, just as they lie when they decrete that I feel no hunger, although this pain in the stomach is most obviously hunger. I am now fifty-seven, and my hunger started at eight, after a tonsils operation. I hate all these people who interfere with my personal affairs and who tell me all the time what to eat. Since one is helpless against them there is only one good solution: avoid them! And the Fat Acceptance Movements are a wonderful liberating help against all these heartless and harassing people. Their constant desire of getting control over the weight of others, that's what's really the bad thing. I have always liked my body and I don’t know why I shouldn’t. The jokes about my body don’t bother me very much either. What hurts me terribly are these people who preach moral sermons on me, although they don’t even know me much. Why do they condemn me to permanent hunger? They say it’s not hunger but appetite but after fourteen diets I know it’s terrible hunger, right in my stomach. They sent me to diets consisting only of tea, for three weeks. How can they say this is healthy? From my last diet, consisting of fruits and vegetables, I got a gastritis. I had tried to silence my hunger by the necessary amounts of salad, which, according to my doctor, was the cause of the gastritis. The worst experience about this last diet was that my colleages at work preached me sermons to regain weight because, as they said, I had an anorexia. Four doctors didn’t detect any anorexia, but my colleages continued to tell me to eat more. When I said my weight was normal they replied “But you were fat first”. After half a year, it was just too much for me. One person reproached me of having regained weight, some days later another admonished me to eat more. I was desperate now, I just threw my diet away and I will never enjoy losing weight again, if such mean treatment is the “success” of all this hunger! I’m doing exercise daily one hour but people keep on lying that exercising would make me lose weight, just as they lie when they decrete that I feel no hunger, although this pain in the stomach is most obviously hunger. I am now fifty-seven, and my hunger started at eight, after a tonsils operation. I hate all these people who interfere with my personal affairs and who tell me all the time what to eat. Since one is helpless against them there is only one good solution: avoid them! And the Fat Acceptance Movements are a wonderful liberating help against all these heartless and harassing people. Their constant desire of getting control over the weight of others, that’s what’s really the bad thing.

]]> By: A Day in Pictures, and a Call to Photographic Action « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-11269 A Day in Pictures, and a Call to Photographic Action « Raising My Boychick Sun, 27 Jun 2010 07:55:46 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-11269 [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...] [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...]

]]> By: How to Pick an Anti-Kyriarchy Preschool, Part One: Why « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-5567 How to Pick an Anti-Kyriarchy Preschool, Part One: Why « Raising My Boychick Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:59:15 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-5567 [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...] [...] Shame on shame: fat acceptance, fatphobia, and fitness [...]

]]> By: Stesha http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-1979 Stesha Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:56:02 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-1979 FA is what I need right now, because I'm battling with FS. After having my twins, it seems that I'm really struggling with my weight. On one side I have people saying "you look good, you just had twins. On the other side there are those that say, "If you don't get the weight off within the year, it's there for life." Sigh. A constant battle... Hugs and Mocha, Stesha FA is what I need right now, because I’m battling with FS. After having my twins, it seems that I’m really struggling with my weight. On one side I have people saying “you look good, you just had twins. On the other side there are those that say, “If you don’t get the weight off within the year, it’s there for life.”

Sigh.

A constant battle…

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

]]> By: Arwyn http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-812 Arwyn Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:16:19 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-812 "Being fat comes from taking in more food than the body uses. Bottom line." <a href="http://kateharding.net/2007/04/12/diets-dont-work-but/" rel="nofollow">That is incorrect information</a>. <a href="http://kateharding.net/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/" rel="nofollow">Bottom line</a>. I have put off approving your post, because I wanted to respond to it fully, with complete rebutting links, and frankly it was casting a pallor over my whole day, but then I remembered: this is my blog. Something is wrong if I am avoiding it because I am feeling attacked in my own space. I will put this as gently and as lovingly as I can: you are, simply, misinformed. The "overeating is the sole cause of overweight" myth is just that: a myth. It is a lie put forth by the kyriarchy. And again, I truly do not mean this maliciously, but there are about 20-1 odds by 5 years from now, you will have regained much of the weight you have recently lost (at least 2-1 odds you'll have gained even more). I hope for you that you are able to heal whatever emotional wounds you have. I hope you are able to come to a healthy, friendly, easy relationship with food and with your body. But you must pardon me for taking the side of statistics when I remain skeptical that your weight loss will be permanent. I have no desire to dismiss your experience. You may very well have been overweight because of an unhealthy relationship with food; you say that is why, and so I extend to you the respect of taking you at your word. I also ask that you extend to me that same courtesy when I say: <em>overeating is not why I am fat.</em> Because I do not overeat. Yes, the entire kyriarchy, in addition to your own experience, is telling you that fat = lazy, overeating, damaged, low will power, stupid, sedentary, and so on. But I, a real person, am in front of you, telling you <em>that is not my truth</em>. I am fat because I am fat. Because it is my body type. Because this is simply where my body is happy and healthy. You now have a choice: you may embrace your dogma over my lived experience, and disbelieve me, or you may accept what I am telling you, and rethink your worldview. It really doesn't matter to me which you choose; I would be happier if I were believed, but I don't need you to. But if you, or anyone else, are to remain and continue to post here, I do require that you choose the second option. My body, and my experience, take precedence over your theory. That's the bottom line. “Being fat comes from taking in more food than the body uses. Bottom line.”

That is incorrect information. Bottom line.

I have put off approving your post, because I wanted to respond to it fully, with complete rebutting links, and frankly it was casting a pallor over my whole day, but then I remembered: this is my blog. Something is wrong if I am avoiding it because I am feeling attacked in my own space.

I will put this as gently and as lovingly as I can: you are, simply, misinformed. The “overeating is the sole cause of overweight” myth is just that: a myth. It is a lie put forth by the kyriarchy. And again, I truly do not mean this maliciously, but there are about 20-1 odds by 5 years from now, you will have regained much of the weight you have recently lost (at least 2-1 odds you’ll have gained even more). I hope for you that you are able to heal whatever emotional wounds you have. I hope you are able to come to a healthy, friendly, easy relationship with food and with your body. But you must pardon me for taking the side of statistics when I remain skeptical that your weight loss will be permanent.

I have no desire to dismiss your experience. You may very well have been overweight because of an unhealthy relationship with food; you say that is why, and so I extend to you the respect of taking you at your word. I also ask that you extend to me that same courtesy when I say: overeating is not why I am fat. Because I do not overeat. Yes, the entire kyriarchy, in addition to your own experience, is telling you that fat = lazy, overeating, damaged, low will power, stupid, sedentary, and so on. But I, a real person, am in front of you, telling you that is not my truth. I am fat because I am fat. Because it is my body type. Because this is simply where my body is happy and healthy.

You now have a choice: you may embrace your dogma over my lived experience, and disbelieve me, or you may accept what I am telling you, and rethink your worldview. It really doesn’t matter to me which you choose; I would be happier if I were believed, but I don’t need you to. But if you, or anyone else, are to remain and continue to post here, I do require that you choose the second option. My body, and my experience, take precedence over your theory.

That’s the bottom line.

]]> By: Susannah http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-811 Susannah Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:15:36 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-811 Another great post, Arwyn. I particularly like the terms "size acceptance" and "fat positive". When I was young, my mom over and over gave me (and my little sister) the idea that not only was being overweight bad, but being skinny was good. Cue years of eating disorders for me (and also, I believe, my sister), filled with comments about weight from strangers and medical professionals alike. The idea that one cannot be healthy unless their BMI is under a certain number or their weight fits into a small range of different numbers boggles my mind. I believe that as a society we *can* get to a place where size does not matter, where one is not denied health care or scorned or made an example of because of their size. I believe that this possibility begins in cases such as this, where people speak up and say, "this is not okay. You can't treat me this way. I am a person, and I won't stand for being treated as less than one". Thank you for speaking up and saying what many people are thinking but cannot say. I would be honored to sometime go on one of your runs with you. <3 Another great post, Arwyn. I particularly like the terms “size acceptance” and “fat positive”. When I was young, my mom over and over gave me (and my little sister) the idea that not only was being overweight bad, but being skinny was good. Cue years of eating disorders for me (and also, I believe, my sister), filled with comments about weight from strangers and medical professionals alike. The idea that one cannot be healthy unless their BMI is under a certain number or their weight fits into a small range of different numbers boggles my mind.

I believe that as a society we *can* get to a place where size does not matter, where one is not denied health care or scorned or made an example of because of their size. I believe that this possibility begins in cases such as this, where people speak up and say, “this is not okay. You can’t treat me this way. I am a person, and I won’t stand for being treated as less than one”. Thank you for speaking up and saying what many people are thinking but cannot say.

I would be honored to sometime go on one of your runs with you. <3

]]> By: Tiffany http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-810 Tiffany Mon, 17 Aug 2009 04:56:53 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-810 well said!!! having recently had a surgery i was asked to crash diet for and enduring said diet of 900 calories a day (of good nutrient dense healthy filling foods, just not full of calories) and moving around more, this subject has been on my mind. two of my sisters, and my mother, are large women, as i am also a large woman. instead of being happy with who they are, they are constantly working at calorie counting, ridding as many carbs from their diets as possible, talking about it ALL the time. etc. its really hard for me, as someone who DOES accept her body for its size and shape, and actually LOVES every single roll and curve and dimple on my rotund body, to watch them do this to themselves. their goal isnt to eel good. to enjoy their bodies. its to shame THEMSELVES into looking how society says they should look. instead of wrking on moving their bodies more, to be strong, and fit inside their curves, they would rather deprive themselves of nutrition, and foods they enjoy, all for the sake of the endless quest for skinny. also, as a mother of two young girls who are around their aunts and nana very often, it infuriates me to no end for them to constantly talk about calories, carbs, BMI, weight, "skinny", FAT FAT FAT (insert serious stern face here)... etc, the list goes on and on. i can ask over and over til i am blue in the face for them to not talk this way infront of my girls, one of whom IS a larger child. that instead, we should talk about moving our bodies in positive ways that we enjoy, feeling fit and strong and healthy, and eating foods that are tasty, and good for us, but not shaming ourselves or eachother if tasty, yet not so nutritious foods are eaten. ("omg do you KNOW how many carbs are in that granola bar?1 how can you feed your child that?!" never mind the fact that its whole grains, driet fruits, naturally sweetened, full of protein rich nuts and seeds, and in general is a wonderful on the go snack for growing children) there is NOTHING WRONG with being fat. and NOTHING WRONG for loving your fat body. thank you again and again and again for putting my thoughts and feelings (once again) into words that are so eloquent and make a strong point. well said!!!
having recently had a surgery i was asked to crash diet for and enduring said diet of 900 calories a day (of good nutrient dense healthy filling foods, just not full of calories) and moving around more, this subject has been on my mind.
two of my sisters, and my mother, are large women, as i am also a large woman. instead of being happy with who they are, they are constantly working at calorie counting, ridding as many carbs from their diets as possible, talking about it ALL the time. etc.
its really hard for me, as someone who DOES accept her body for its size and shape, and actually LOVES every single roll and curve and dimple on my rotund body, to watch them do this to themselves. their goal isnt to eel good. to enjoy their bodies. its to shame THEMSELVES into looking how society says they should look. instead of wrking on moving their bodies more, to be strong, and fit inside their curves, they would rather deprive themselves of nutrition, and foods they enjoy, all for the sake of the endless quest for skinny.
also, as a mother of two young girls who are around their aunts and nana very often, it infuriates me to no end for them to constantly talk about calories, carbs, BMI, weight, “skinny”, FAT FAT FAT (insert serious stern face here)… etc, the list goes on and on.
i can ask over and over til i am blue in the face for them to not talk this way infront of my girls, one of whom IS a larger child. that instead, we should talk about moving our bodies in positive ways that we enjoy, feeling fit and strong and healthy, and eating foods that are tasty, and good for us, but not shaming ourselves or eachother if tasty, yet not so nutritious foods are eaten. (“omg do you KNOW how many carbs are in that granola bar?1 how can you feed your child that?!” never mind the fact that its whole grains, driet fruits, naturally sweetened, full of protein rich nuts and seeds, and in general is a wonderful on the go snack for growing children)
there is NOTHING WRONG with being fat.
and NOTHING WRONG for loving your fat body.
thank you again and again and again for putting my thoughts and feelings (once again) into words that are so eloquent and make a strong point.

]]> By: MadamaAmbi http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-809 MadamaAmbi Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:29:07 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-809 yep yep yep yep yep...all of it...all of it so many times over! I've been over, under, around and through this territory absolutely ALL of my life, from size 8 to 24 and everywhere in between and all the while struggling to love myself as so much more than an object, an ideal, a representation of something I don't even respect, namely patriarchy...or kyriarchy if that suits you...doesn't matter to me because I know where I've been living... which is all to say that now, at age 55, I am yet coming to terms with my biology as, frankly, being quite inevitable and kinda cozy with my destiny...I know how to get thin (starvation) and how to stay thin (more starvation plus obsessively exercise)...can I just say I've Had Enough? I've Got More Important Things to Do!!!!!!! I've lost the weight--all of it--and put it all and then some back on--more than I lost--too many times. I've had doctors tell me that I'm insulin resistant and to eat 6 small, lo-carb meals instead of the usual 3/day. Don't eat anything white! Several members of my family have died from diabetes and, by and large(pun intended), everyone in my family has been FAT FOR GENERATIONS. During a thin period I met up with a relative I hadn't seen in many years who commented: You're thin for our family!!!...which was true, because according to all the charts, I still had 50 lbs. to lose!!!!! At least I had the smarts to marry a FAT GUY! He loves me up or down, thin or fat...but his love doesn't substitute for self-love and there have been many times, too many times, when I've ruefully confessed to hating myself for hating myself! How's that for a double-bind???? I'm sick of the shame. I'm sick of needing to look in the mirror to decide whether or not I'll have a good day. Ain't gonna do it no more. I'm going to pull off maybe the most rebellious act I've pulled off yet: I'm gonna LOVE myself as I am. Period. That means fat or ample or big or whatever, that means gray hair, that means wrinkles, that means in-your-face OR go-away-I-don't-like-you...you know, one of these days, it might turn into meaning that I'll have to learn to love myself when I can barely lower my butt to the toilet and wipe it. See what I'm sayin' here? It's up to us... yep yep yep yep yep…all of it…all of it so many times over! I’ve been over, under, around and through this territory absolutely ALL of my life, from size 8 to 24 and everywhere in between and all the while struggling to love myself as so much more than an object, an ideal, a representation of something I don’t even respect, namely patriarchy…or kyriarchy if that suits you…doesn’t matter to me because I know where I’ve been living…

which is all to say that now, at age 55, I am yet coming to terms with my biology as, frankly, being quite inevitable and kinda cozy with my destiny…I know how to get thin (starvation) and how to stay thin (more starvation plus obsessively exercise)…can I just say I’ve Had Enough? I’ve Got More Important Things to Do!!!!!!!

I’ve lost the weight–all of it–and put it all and then some back on–more than I lost–too many times. I’ve had doctors tell me that I’m insulin resistant and to eat 6 small, lo-carb meals instead of the usual 3/day. Don’t eat anything white! Several members of my family have died from diabetes and, by and large(pun intended), everyone in my family has been FAT FOR GENERATIONS. During a thin period I met up with a relative I hadn’t seen in many years who commented: You’re thin for our family!!!…which was true, because according to all the charts, I still had 50 lbs. to lose!!!!!

At least I had the smarts to marry a FAT GUY! He loves me up or down, thin or fat…but his love doesn’t substitute for self-love and there have been many times, too many times, when I’ve ruefully confessed to hating myself for hating myself! How’s that for a double-bind????

I’m sick of the shame. I’m sick of needing to look in the mirror to decide whether or not I’ll have a good day. Ain’t gonna do it no more. I’m going to pull off maybe the most rebellious act I’ve pulled off yet: I’m gonna LOVE myself as I am. Period. That means fat or ample or big or whatever, that means gray hair, that means wrinkles, that means in-your-face OR go-away-I-don’t-like-you…you know, one of these days, it might turn into meaning that I’ll have to learn to love myself when I can barely lower my butt to the toilet and wipe it. See what I’m sayin’ here? It’s up to us…

]]> By: Rachel http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/08/on-fat-acceptance-and-fitness/#comment-808 Rachel Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:28:22 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/?p=515#comment-808 Arwyn, thanks for the explanation. It makes sense. I can wholeheartedly jump on the "shame on shame" bandwagon. It's a message that needs to be shouted. Still thinking through optimal health and fat's impact on metabolic processes. But your approach to health makes sense. Arwyn, thanks for the explanation. It makes sense. I can wholeheartedly jump on the “shame on shame” bandwagon. It’s a message that needs to be shouted. Still thinking through optimal health and fat’s impact on metabolic processes. But your approach to health makes sense.

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