The term “alloparents” was coined by Edward O. Wilson in 1975, from the Greek prefix “allo-” meaning “other than.”1 Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, in her monumental work Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species, writes:
Since it is only the wise animal behaviorist with access to DNA fingerprinting who knows for sure who the father is, it iwould be more precise to confine ourselves to the term “allomothers”
which she defines as
all the caretakers other than the mother… who help care for or provision young.
Humans are meant to be raised in situations with the presence of allomothers. The nuclear family, in which all the burdens of child-rearing fall on two adults (or, all too often in our patriarchal society, one woman), is an aberration in the course of human history. It is deeply and intrinsically misogynistic, not to mention flat-out unhealthy for all parties involved — and I write this as someone who does spend the day, mostly at home and alone, caring for my child.
Support for allomothers — which is to say, support for mothers and parents — is a necessary part of any philosophy which is to be considered feminist. As Ruth Moss writes so clearly, we are all alloparents — or we should be, if we are to put our energies where our mouths are when it comes to helping women.
1. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species (New York: Ballantine Publishing Group, 1999) 91.
Arwyn
In my bathroom hangs a plaque with a picture of a yin yang and the word BALANCE. I can never get it to hang straight. This probably says something deep and meaningful about my life.
I’m looking forward to *this* one
Ooh thanks for referencing me!
Have you read Blaffer Hrdy by the way?
I have! I haven’t read her newest (which is supposed to be even more about human allomothers), but I actually pulled the quote direct from my dead-tree copy of Mother Nature. It’s been years, but I remember adoring it, and flipping through it today I was remembering why. It’s explicitly feminist, discusses biological underpinnings to many behaviors, but smashes to pieces the biology=destiny BS that defends so much misogyny, all within the context of espousing biologically appropriate parenting. It’s quite brilliant, and I highly recommend it.
(Having not read it in years, I do have to give the caveat that there may be offensive statements within it, of course. Overall, I think the recommendation is sound, though.)