Sometimes I feel like two people: in “real” life, and in some of the online places I frequent, I am about the most radical feminist I know, and one of the few who has even heard the words “intersectionality” or “white privilege” or “cisgender” (much less cissexism). I find myself needing to dispel feminist myths, to spend all my time explaining the most basic vocabulary and concepts. I am a big fish in a small pond.
But in the feminist blogosphere, I am so new, so ignorant still in so many ways, and I spend most of my time just reading and reading and studying and following links and getting challenged, because there is so much I do not yet know about what it means to identify feminist, to exist with so much privilege (white, class, cisgender, able-bodied, etc), to live under kyriarchy. There are still so many myths, and misunderstandings, and consequences of unrecognized privilege within my own mind that I am discovering and attempting to ferret out. I am a very tiny fish in an enormous, diverse, amazing ocean.
I wasn’t really going anywhere with that, I’ve just had a few experiences recently that have really brought it to my attention. It’s a very Seussian form of cognitive dissonance (one fish, two fish, trans fish, cisfish?).
Anyone else ever feel like that?
Arwyn
In my bathroom hangs a plaque with a picture of a yin yang and the word BALANCE. I can never get it to hang straight. This probably says something deep and meaningful about my life.
I think I’m a bit similar to how you describe yourself, but a bit further behind. In real life, I’m the only person I know who would even call themselves a feminist. But here? Online? I have trouble keeping up with the dictionary!
I do try… I really do. I think it’s so important. But I know often I fail.
How to merge your online life with your real life?
If you find out, let me know.
See, I think of you as one of those I’m trying to catch up to online! And I’m not sure it’s a matter of needing to merge the two as it is recognizing just how far apart the two worlds are. Which is both heartening, that there is a world somewhere where language matters and privilege is regularly checked for and the patriarchy is passe (because really it’s all about kyriarchy); but it’s also disheartening, because in the “real” world, even the very idea of feminism as a worthy ideological pursuit is questioned, if not outright rejected.
Obviously, it’s the wet and squishy world that needs to change. :p
I definitely feel this way all the time. I feel out of place with my friends sometimes because I’m so “radical.”
I think there will always be people we try to “keep up” with for some reason or another in the blogosphere. People who really push boundaries or get really personal or have consistently great posts. We just have to learn from each other and help push each other, right? I hope… =)
We just have to learn from each other and help push each other, right? I hope… =)
Absolutely! And little by little, work some of this great stuff we’re creating back out in to the “real” world… or build up a big enough cohort through our online networking to finally start the wider revolution and drive the wet and squishy world into the twenty-first century whether it likes it or not.