Comments on: This is not the post I thought I was going to write http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/ Parenting, privilege, and rethinking the norm Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:59:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Choosing Joy « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-7603 Choosing Joy « Raising My Boychick Wed, 28 Apr 2010 20:19:24 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-7603 [...] This is not the post I thought I was going to write [...] [...] This is not the post I thought I was going to write [...]

]]> By: Invitations, Not Resolutions « Raising My Boychick http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-3548 Invitations, Not Resolutions « Raising My Boychick Tue, 12 Jan 2010 08:20:43 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-3548 [...] This is not the post I thought I was going to write [...] [...] This is not the post I thought I was going to write [...]

]]> By: Arwyn http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-123 Arwyn Sun, 15 Feb 2009 07:01:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-123 Y'all are sweet. Thank you. I'm OK with occasional outbursts handled well, I just think we're really at the stage of far too often still, and not handled well, at least not enough of the time. But thank you.<br/><br/>Ruth -- I almost mentioned Noelle, but really that's another post (or three).<br/><br/>Korin & Jenn -- thanks.<br/><br/>Karen -- of course it's not presumptuous, thanks for the recommendation.<br/><br/>Jen and Jari -- Yay, I'm building a lemonade stand empire! :D Y'all are sweet. Thank you. I'm OK with occasional outbursts handled well, I just think we're really at the stage of far too often still, and not handled well, at least not enough of the time. But thank you.

Ruth — I almost mentioned Noelle, but really that's another post (or three).

Korin & Jenn — thanks.

Karen — of course it's not presumptuous, thanks for the recommendation.

Jen and Jari — Yay, I'm building a lemonade stand empire! :D

]]> By: Jari http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-121 Jari Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:20:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-121 ((((Arwyn))) I think you're an awesome mom!!!<br/><br/><br/>(ps you've been awared - http://offthehookwithamanda.blogspot.com/2009/02/lemonade-award.html) ((((Arwyn))) I think you’re an awesome mom!!!

(ps you’ve been awared – http://offthehookwithamanda.blogspot.com/2009/02/lemonade-award.html)

]]> By: Jen http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-120 Jen Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:59:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-120 Hi,<br/><br/>I'm a relatively new follower of your blog and I just love it. You capture a lot of things I'm just starting to consider as a new parent. Thank you! I've given you an award over at:<br/>http://mcsmithley.blogspot.com/2009/02/these-are-few-of-my-favorite-things.html Hi,

I’m a relatively new follower of your blog and I just love it. You capture a lot of things I’m just starting to consider as a new parent. Thank you! I’ve given you an award over at:
http://mcsmithley.blogspot.com/2009/02/these-are-few-of-my-favorite-things.html

]]> By: Jenn http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-119 Jenn Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:35:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-119 What Korin said!<br/><br/>I remind myself (often!) that if I want my child to be comfortable expressing her emotions freely (which I do), I'm not doing her any favors by choking mine down. Which isn't carte blanche for defaulting to anger, of course, but still, I think so much of it is all in how you handle it and how often it happens, like other folks have said. <br/><br/>The family history piece of it is so tricky to navigate too -- almost everybody's got some primal message to counteract about anger and how it's displayed. <br/><br/>Be gentle with yerself, woman! And if it helps any, I marvel at your overall patience as a parent every time I see you. xoxo What Korin said!

I remind myself (often!) that if I want my child to be comfortable expressing her emotions freely (which I do), I’m not doing her any favors by choking mine down. Which isn’t carte blanche for defaulting to anger, of course, but still, I think so much of it is all in how you handle it and how often it happens, like other folks have said.

The family history piece of it is so tricky to navigate too — almost everybody’s got some primal message to counteract about anger and how it’s displayed.

Be gentle with yerself, woman! And if it helps any, I marvel at your overall patience as a parent every time I see you. xoxo

]]> By: Karen http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-118 Karen Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:24:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-118 Hi, Arwyn. I found your blog recently and identify with many of your posts. Our parenting styles seem similar. I'm delurking to offer a book that is helping me be a better parent to my almost-3-year-old. It's called "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, and is about uncovering and getting past the kind of response you just described (and who doesn't have those?!). It's also about helping you teach your child how to recognize, label, and deal with their own emotions. Hope I'm not being too presumptuous... Hi, Arwyn. I found your blog recently and identify with many of your posts. Our parenting styles seem similar. I’m delurking to offer a book that is helping me be a better parent to my almost-3-year-old. It’s called “Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, and is about uncovering and getting past the kind of response you just described (and who doesn’t have those?!). It’s also about helping you teach your child how to recognize, label, and deal with their own emotions. Hope I’m not being too presumptuous…

]]> By: mamazen http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-117 mamazen Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:13:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-117 No one can always be the parent they want to be. Not that that is an excuse to be an asshole all the time, but if you hit the mark 100% of the time, everyone would hate you for being a perfect prat, no? <br/>I agree with Ruth, the key is showing how to handle the aftermath of a parental meltdown. Apologize, show affection, show your children that we are human and can fall short of our ideals too... and that it's ok. <br/><br/>xoxo you're awesome No one can always be the parent they want to be. Not that that is an excuse to be an asshole all the time, but if you hit the mark 100% of the time, everyone would hate you for being a perfect prat, no?
I agree with Ruth, the key is showing how to handle the aftermath of a parental meltdown. Apologize, show affection, show your children that we are human and can fall short of our ideals too… and that it’s ok.

xoxo you’re awesome

]]> By: Ruth Moss http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-116 Ruth Moss Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:20:00 +0000 http://www.raisingmyboychick.com/2009/02/this-is-not-the-post-i-thought-i-was-going-to-write/#comment-116 Oh Arwyn. <br/><br/>You know, Bertie woke me up at five a.m. for the nth morning running today. And I just don't have the energy to be entertaining any more. So now I just plonk him in front of the telly for an hour while I have coffee and wake up. It's not great. I know that. <br/><br/>But I also subscribe to Scott Noelle's 51% theory. <br/><br/>http://is.gd/jfQV<br/><br/>I also think that, if we're occasionally harsh with our children, as long as we apologise and show that we can get over that anger, we're still modelling good behaviour in a way. Oh Arwyn.

You know, Bertie woke me up at five a.m. for the nth morning running today. And I just don’t have the energy to be entertaining any more. So now I just plonk him in front of the telly for an hour while I have coffee and wake up. It’s not great. I know that.

But I also subscribe to Scott Noelle’s 51% theory.

http://is.gd/jfQV

I also think that, if we’re occasionally harsh with our children, as long as we apologise and show that we can get over that anger, we’re still modelling good behaviour in a way.

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