Choice feminism, in a nutshell and as I understand it, is a reaction to the “throw down your aprons and your razors and go get a job!” feminism of the 70s. Its position is that any act is feminist as long as the woman acting chooses it. “It’s all about choice” is the slogan, and is usually hurled by those who are choosing that which traditional feminists declare to be oppressing them (shave, wear make up, stay at home, etc).
It’s a compelling argument, to be sure. After all, I as a feminist am pro choice, right? I choose to stay home, certainly. Women’s liberation was just a reaction to being forced to stay home, and it’s totally different if she chooses it. Right?
Well, yes. But also no. We need to be free to choose the trajectories of our own lives, to be sure, and emancipation and liberation are not as simple as “go out and get a real job.” But the rallying cry of choice feminism (“It’s all about choice!”) is missing the point as well, and is arguably proping up the patriarchy.
The thing is, we don’t live in a vacuum, nor in a post patriarchy. Like it or not, acknowledge it or not, our choices — my choices — are influenced by the society we live in, a society that sends often conflicting, but always constricting, messages to women (and men) about what they should and shouldn’t and must and mustn’t do. Whenever our “totally free and independent choices” coincide perfectly with one of the dominant messages sent by the patriarchy, and indeed are the acts required to allow the patriarchy to continue to exist, we must examine where those choices, and the situation and preferences behind them, come from. It may be “my choice” to stay at home and care for the Boychick while my male partner works in a corporate office environment 40 hours a week, but what are the factors influencing that decision? What are my other choices? And why don’t I have a full range of real, child- and family-friendly choices?
Ultimately, choice feminism succeeds in being popular and fails at challenging or changing the patriarchy because of its insistence on individual responsibility and freedom without placing any burden on society as a whole. It pretends that we have achieved full liberation already, and thus denies that patriarchal institutions limit what choices we have available to select from, and thus is allowed (and encouraged, in as much as it displaces other flavors of feminism) to continue by a deeply misogynistic and sexist society, while feminism that would challenge the dominant structure, by calling for broad social changes, is dismissed as either overly idealistic or overly prescriptive, a victimhood “everybody hates me” philosophy, the domain of man- and child-hating ugly bepantsed women who would deny other women the joys of home and family.
So no, I am not a choice feminist. These are not the choices I would make in a post-patriarchal world. We can choose acts which perpetuate patriarchy, and they are not magically made feminist by the act of our choosing them. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t particularly want an office job, and though I in fact don’t shave or wear makeup I don’t thing everyone else should stop. I do believe we must have choices, and each woman must choose for herself, not just what happens in her uterus but what happens in her larger life.
Rather, my point is twofold: not that we should always avoid choices that support patriarchy (else I wouldn’t be at home, I wouldn’t have had the Boychick, and I arguably wouldn’t be with a man at all), but that we shouldn’t blind ourselves to the effects our choices have; and that by placing all the burden of “choice” on women, and none on society to offer a broader array of choices to both men and women, choice feminism is at its root misogynistic. It is once again saying that it’s all up to women, that society is just fine and isn’t going to change at all, and women can just deal with it. That’s not a position I can get behind at all.
dear arwyn,
just read this post after i clicked through from twitter, and i am pretty shocked that no one has commented yet, because WORD TO YOUR MOMZ.
love,
Stays-At-Home-Because-of-Convenient-Patriarchal-Circumstances Not-Quite-A-Third-Waver
Also, "bepantsed" is a completely fabulous word.
that, too.
Not that I can outdo the previous comments, but…this blog made me rethink a few things I've taken a public stance on in the past.
Thanks.
i've heard similar thoughts voiced by homeschooling parents. along the lines of "people think we're homeschooling because we think it's the perfect education situation–no, we're homeschooling because we feel it is the best option for our family of the unsatisfactory options available".
i'll probably get thrown off the feminist blog for saying this, but i've also long felt similar pulls on the abortion issue. i'm all for choices, but i also feel the public catfight between pro-choicers and pro-lifers is a distraction from deep-rooted societal ills. "hey, we're not going to help you out with health care or childcare or parental leave or education for that kid of yours–but it's all fair because you've got a choice!" talk about using women as a scapegoat!
i'm going to get tomatoes thrown at me, but i've never gone in for the whole femminism thing. i feel like we're expected to be handmaids to the patriarchy or career minded feminists, when in fact, i am home with my children because i like being home. i like the way it gives me time to do all sorts of volunteerism good. i also do not heart the competitive nature of the world of the employed. it's not who i am.
so yeah, i hear you. we aren't living in a post patriarchal world, so the fact that we still have to make a choice somehow smacks of being further controlled by the men what think they're in charge.
thank you for writing this.
For the record, no tomatoes get thrown around here, and generally only trolls and spam get kicked off. :)
Maria — Still probably my favoritest comment evar.
TO Doula — Heh, thanks. Wish I could take credit for it!
PoS — Prompting my readers to (re)think is the greatest success I think I can have as a blogger, so thank you for that.
Hannah — Good point about the homeschooling comparison! That definitely mirrors my own thoughts on homeschooling. On choice and abortion, I think the kyriarchy (using largely the hand of the media) does encourage a polemical divisiveness on that topic. While I firmly believe abortion rights are vital (literally) for women, "both" sides have been guilty at times of focusing so exclusively on that one issue and ignoring all the other ways women need choice (choice of where and with whom to birth, for instance) and support (fiscal support for choosing to keep and raise those children, to name just one); though again, I think we have a false image of each side thanks to the polarizing nature of the media.
Slee — stick around, and you'll likely find out that that's a false image of feminism you're rejecting. :) Although I didn't address it in this post the "career minded feminist" is pretty well a straw argument, as much put forth by the kyriarchy (as a type of feminism to reject) as is choice feminism (promoted because it has no ability to effect real cultural change). Feminism is at base nothing more than the radical notion that women are people; feminists are those who work to dismantle the patriarchy/kyriarchy so that we are recognized as the persons we are.
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“choice feminism is at its root misogynistic.”
The real message sent by the patriarchy thus reads: “Because the woman performs best AT HOME, so it would be pro-woman to let her stay at HER place.”
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