All blogs need photos. It seems we are such a visual animal that a blog without photos is like cocoa without sugar and cream: what’s the point? And, I’ve been meaning to write about babywearing, and how attachment parenting really can be feminist, especially with a babywearing father. So here they are, my (presumably) straight white males, defying the stereotypes and snuggling close (and yes, he does all the wrapping himself, and indeed, taught me how).
Of course, one of the great things about men babywearing is it models nurturing behavior for the next generation. (That’s BunBun on the Boychick’s back, in a much-too-large Sutemi Pack wrapped around him two or three times.)
When attachment parenting is not just attachment mothering, everyone benefits: the mother gets to share the parenting in a way still meeting the child’s needs (though I did all of the feeding of the Boychick for the first 7 months, The Man did all the babywearing while he was on paternity leave, and almost all of it when he was home after that, making a point to wear him especially in the evenings to give me “me” time, and himself baby time), the father or partner gets the joys of having a baby snuggled in close (and it is a joy!), and the child gets to build loving relationships with all parents. Add to that the nurturing of male children, who are traditionally held apart and told to suck it up, and I can only see how attachment parenting, and especially babywearing, is helping us raise the next generation nonsexistly.
(I apologize for the poor quality photos: I can only beg forgiveness as a nonskilled photographer, with the added excuse that our camera was dying when these pictures were taken; it has since gone on to silicon heaven, and we miss it dearly.)
My friend is having a content for photos of men wearing babies. Check it out!
http://www.undercovermother.net/2009/01/babywearing-i-showed-you-mine-now-you.html
Actually, I saw that contest (after looking at your blog), and that was half of what inspired the post! I just didn’t have a chance to find it again and add a link to her when I was posting this morning — thanks for the link!
Not being able to babywear without excruciating pain made me feel like a big whomping maternal failure in the early, uber-sensitive months postpartum, but my babywearin’ baby daddy was a blessing. I wish more folks spread the love that attachment parenting does NOT automatically equal attachment mothering. I have to wonder if part of why Miss M and her dad have such a close relationship is because of all those fussy walks around the block in the summer heat in a denim New Native!
Jenn, I think some attachment mamas forget that it’s Attachment Parenting. Not just Attachment Mothering.
I guess another blogging topic. :)
My hubby (not completely straight but that's beside the point) was a babywearer with our kids and I often overhear him advocating new parents (mama & papas) to get themselves a sling. I wish I had pictures. My computer died and so did the pics along with it :(
Jenn — I don’t think you really need to wonder. When fathers are “allowed” to be parents, of course they have a closer relationship with their kids (and vice versa).
Rachel — the distinction of attachment parenting v. attachment mothering only is one of the things I’ve tried to touch on in both this post and the post “What does a feminist mother look like?”. I may expand on it more explicitly in a future post, though, if you like. ;)
Jupitersinclair — I’m so sorry you lost your pics. :( The majority of ours are on a harddrive of a laptop that absolutely will not start up again — but at least we have hope they’re recoverable some day!
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