Comments on: Closer to understanding the domestic goddess

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 06:55:00 +0000

I am not a particular fan of the phrase either, but I use it because many I know do embrace it, and I AM a fan of self-identification. If they wish to be called Domestic Goddesses, then so I shall, as a sign of respect for their personhood and right to self-definition.

One can be a parent at-home most of the time and cook half the meals (me!) and not be a “domestic goddess”. I don’t identify as a SAHM either, but, for instance, my sister does, so I use that word for her, but not for me. *shrugs*

By: zose

zose — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:12:00 +0000

i hate the term domestic goddess.

all i can think about is nigella pron comedy sketch i saw once with (someone who looked/sounded like) her deep throating fried pig's ears and rubbing food all over her neck and breasts. (which is pretty much what her latest series portrays.)

what about domestically-abled?

(which i am pretty much not. i am domestically challenged. mostly because i see it as a pain in the arse and totally unenjoyable and a job i get lumped with because my 39 yr old husband of 10 years was trained by his *lovely* mother not to do ANYTHING.)

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 22:14:00 +0000

Jenn — you need to blog more. Seriously. Stop bogarting the smarts, lady. Although I do thank you for gracing my comments with it.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:18:00 +0000

It’s such a difficult line to walk … when you are fairly type A, achievement-oriented like me, you want *tangible* signs that what you are doing all day as the default at-home parent counts for more than just the nonstop damage control that is toddler cleanup. But I don’t think that has to mean over-romanticizing the domestic goddess role, or making it fundamental or essential to your being. the way a lot of women tend to. (Some may have a religious background that validates/espouses that perspective, though, which can be pretty damn powerful — without that imperative, it’s far less compelling in my mind.)

I try to look at it pragmatically, in the sense that I’ve got 6-8 hours alone with a young’un, and I can either feel craptastic and useless, or try salvage some sense of accomplishment and autonomy out of the deal before mah baby daddy gets home, even if it is domestic and not intellectual. Do I consider those domestic pursuits that occur before 4 pm my “role” and my “fulfillment”? Other than the fact that I do enjoy cooking and prefer a clean house to a sty, he-yall no.

I think it helps, too, if we are able to then “shed” that role at night — with creative/personal pursuits like going to school, or writing, or whatever. Without those outlets (or an understanding partner), I”d go even more bonkers.

By: Arwyn

Arwyn — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 06:38:00 +0000

See, I don’t really mind cooking, though I like that The Man does (did?) the vast majority of it. And I do enjoy cooking with the Boychick, and that’s part of the appeal of it I’ve found in the past few weeks (although it has also had downsides, like the large glass mixing bowl with an entire batch of almond butter bar mix in it that was somehow shattered on the floor…). I’m very much in the idea that kids do best when they can observe us at work, which is much easier when one is working at something tangible, like cooking, than something a little less than tangible, and impossible for them to help or even “help” with, like, oh, blogging.

You’ll be getting an update on the spending within the week…

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 06:48:00 +0000

One of the reasons I like working is that I come home to dinner made by my husband. I really don't like cooking.

I try to involve my son in my cooking adventures. It keeps him out of trouble, we spend quality time together and I hope he learns so that he can cook for me someday.

My end goal: never to cook again.

Good luck on the no spending. I've gone 3 days before. :(